Time for Quotes!

Let's see if I can do this while the baby is sleeping... here's the 6th quote board from The Best Nest:

Mama to Liam: Lay down and get some sleep. I expect listening ears when you get up.
Liam: What?
Mama: !!!

After staying in bed with the alarm going off for 20 minutes, Carrie is finally moving.
Carrie: MAMAAAAAA!
Mama: What!?
Carrie: It looks like the United States. They way I laid down my underwear.

Carrie: Did you have Planet Turtle (online math game) when you were a little girl?
Mama: We didn't even have COMPUTERS when I was a little girl. I'm a fossil.
Carrie: How about YOU, Dada?
Dada: I was never a little girl.

Carrie, 6.5, reading in the bathtub: S-H-A-M-P-OOO-OOO. Hahahaha!

Liam: Why do we call them Go-Gurts? (kids' squeezable yogurts)
Mama: Because we eat them on the go.
Liam: We don't eat them on the stop. Right?

Mama: Oh, you're going to wear your church shoes?
Liam: These are not my church shoes. These are my beach shoes. They like to be in the sand. That's why they're called SANDALS!

Carrie: Where are we going?
Dada: To your DOOM. Hiiiiiieeeeya!
Carrie: Yaaaaaaaaaaaah! *takes off running* To my what???

Mama: That was inappropriate.
Liam, 4: That was outappropriate.

Carrie, 6.5: Broth is water that noodles come from. Right?

According to Liam, 4, mini chocolate chips are "chocolate chip seeds."

Carrie, 6.5: ...yak yak yak yak...etc, repeat
Mama: Do you EVER stop talking?
Carrie: Hmm, no.
Mama: I thought so.
Carrie: Do you think I'll talk when I'm dead?
Mama: You? Probably!
Carrie: (on a roll) Has anyone else talked when they're dead? yak yak yak, etc, singing, etc, repeat, etc

Mama: Thanks for the bread and the milk, PaPa. And the cake. And the ice cream. You're a nut.
PaPa, total deadpan: Oh, you're welcome. Had to get the basics.

Liam: I like chicken. But not with the feathers on it.
Mama: Me neither.
Liam: Or a beak.
Mama cracks up.
Liam: Or that red thing either. What's that called? Or the sharpy things on their feet!

Mama is looking for nail clippers. Liam suggests we use the "booboo getters" instead. (tweezers)

PaPa: Actually, sleeping is my favorite thing. Then eating is next.
Carrie, 7: What about playing with your favorite granddaughter?

Carrie, 7, is writing her name: I have almost every continent... I mean vowel... in my name except for an "o"... every single vowel in the envelope.

Carrie: Mama, something Liam did-
Mama: Carrie, are you tattling?
Carrie: I'm REPORTING!
(I wrote this down before I read the note from their guidance counselor explaining how they're talking about how sometimes you have to tell to keep someone safe and that it is called reporting. Tattling and telling are not the same thing as reporting, apparently. Makes sense, but like I said, I heard this BEFORE I read the note...)

Carrie, reading to Mama, gets to the part where the boy colors on the wall.
Mama: You did that.
Carrie: Nuh uh! I DREW on the wall. I SKETCHED on the wall. I didn't COLOR on the wall... yet.

Liam: Okay, Damon, this is how you talk! Can you say CANDYLAND??

Grandmama: What a pretty day! No thunder, no lightning, no wind, no storms!
Carrie: And no blizzards!
Liam: And no lizards. And no geckos!

Talking about hurricanes, Liam asks: What's a HE-i-cane?
Mama: No, it's a HUR- oh, hehe!
Liam: What's a man-i-cane?
Dada: Like a girl-quake...
(Girl Quake is the name of a song on a CD we have...)

Liam: Is this a pentagon or a heckigon?

Mama and Dada: Welcome to North Carolina!
Liam: North Carolina! A new state I've never been in!
Carrie: I think we should have took a plane.

Mama: OH! A chocolate chip in my cleavage!
PaPa to Damon,3 months: You're going to have cookies and milk!

Liam: Dada just headbutted Carrie. (To Dada) I told on you.

Liam, 4 and 7/8ths: How come my PB&J has a hole in it?
Mama: It happens sometimes.
Liam: Maybe a peanut butter and jelly-pecker ate a hole in it!

Mama to Dada: Will you be home for lunch?
Dada: Dunno. Not if I have a day like yesterday... maybe some Cap'n Crunch will help.
Mama: Lookin' for love in all the wrong places?
Dada: It's all about the captains. Crunch and Morgan!

Liam, 4 and 11/12ths, polishes off an Oreo with gusto: May I have another cookie? The bag says two. Please?

After a long, rough day, Liam: Why will nobody smell my armpits now?

Carrie, 7: My teeth are tired. I can't eat this corn.

Mama, trying to clean up from dinner while holding Damon: Oh BUGGER. I lost a noodle.
Liam, 4.5, from the table: I know how you feel.

Carrie, 6 and 11/12ths, is reading little Tommy Tucker and other nursery rhymes: Can't they just give the poor kid some food? Those are sad stories.

Carrie, 6 and 11/12ths: Hey Mama, how come cars and motorcycles and bikes all go faster than Rollerblades? THEY have the most wheels.

Liam, almost 4.5, is playing with a Barrel of Monkeys.
Mama: Did you clean up the monkeys? Cuz I don't need monkeys on my nightstand.
Liam: Yep. Where's Dada's day-stand?

Carrie, 6 and 24/25ths, reading Flap Your Wings: I think Mr. Bird needs glasses.

Mama: Liam, do you want a circle toast?
Liam, 4.5: An Anguish Muffin!?

Mama, trying to get out of bed at 36 weeks pregnant: I feel like a walrus. Where's my winch?
Dada, from the pillows: I'm carrying three people, he has only himself. (From The Princess Bride when Andre the Giant's character, Fezzik, is climbing the Cliffs of Insanity while carrying Buttercup, Inigo Montoya, and Vezzini. The Man in Black keeps gaining...)

Mama: Dead men tell no tales. That means they're really good at keeping secrets.
Carrie: What about women? Do dead women tell no tales? ... Definitely not me. I'll tell tales.

Carrie and Liam are giggling madly.
Carrie: We just found out "dummy" and "bummy" rhyme!

Mama, observing the job list: How come my name always says, "make dinner"?
Carrie looks at her like she's grown another head.
Carrie: It doesn't. Sometimes it says "make breakfast."

Talking about men with long hair and ponytails, Carrie: are they John boys?
Mama thinks a minute: You mean TOM boys?
Carrie: Oh. Yeah. I couldn't remember. TOM boys. John boys. Hehe!

Carie to Dada when he's antagonizing her: I'll bite your finger with my loose tooth bite!

And the last one is a "Baby Blues" comic with the mom and dad talking:
Mom: I know what I want for dinner. What do you feel like having?
Dad: Mmmmm... let's see...
Mom: It can be anything you want.
Dad: Well then...
Mom: Anything that contains corn flakes and broccoli...
Dad: Uh...
Mom: Exclusively.
Dad: KIDS! We're going out to eat!
Mom: What do you know! We want the same thing!