Quote Board

Okay everyone, it's that time. The quote board is full. So before I get my pushpins out and stick it up on the basement wall for everyone to enjoy during the Christmas Extravaganza, I thought I'd type them out here for ou far-away friends. For those of you who aren't familiar with this, it began in college w/ my roomies Melissa, Christine, Brenda, and Mary Alice. Anytime anyone said anything funny (or even better, out of context), that quote got scribbled down for posterity. Funny drawings were also allowed. I've upgraded to a few comic strip frames too. Without further ado:

YAYYYYY! YOTSA cookies! -Liam, age 2, spying rack of Oreos in Giant Eagle

Dada: SON OF A BEAN!
Liam, 2 and a half: Son of a bean??? Dat not many any SENSE.

Mama: Liam, need some circle cheese? (colby jack from the deli)
Liam: *nods*
Mama peels one off.
Liam: Dis is oval cheese. Need a circle cheese, Mama!

Mama: Carrie, eat your beans. If we have to tell you again, no dessert.
Dada, deadpans: For the rest of your life.
Carrie: Well THAT'S not true!
Mama & Dada crack up uncontrollably.
Carrie: Are you laughing at me? Are you laughing at what I said?

Carrie, clearing her throat: I fink I'm losing my breaf!

At breakfast:
Liam: Can I need a boo-berry cookie? (NutraGrain fruit bar)
Mama: Yes.
Liam: YAY! Dat's WONderful!

Liam clonks his head under the table (again.)
Dada holds up two fingers and says: how many toes am I holding up?
Liam: *scowling* I two and a half!
Mama: *smirking* He's playing your game!

Mama, tired of being interrupted, stops talking.
Carrie: Why'd you stop your story?
Mama: I'm tired of being interrupted!
Carrie: Go ahead. I'm done erupting.

Carrie: Did you see my cloud of dreaming?

It's dinnertime and Dan Zanes is playing.
Mama: You can turn that off if you want.
Dada: Can I put in some MOOD music?
Mama: Sure.
Dada *rummaging* Where's the Mastadon?
Mama: ACK!

Liam, 2 and a half: I AM STICKOBOY! (after a whole body sticker experience)

Neighbor girl next door to Liam: Yoo hoo! Two and a haaaaalf!

To the kids: NO BOXING!
Dada to Mama:I think I've found another game I want to get.
Mama: Oh yeah?
Dada: "Super Smash Brothers Brawl" *pause* Oughta be good for them...

On the way to preschool, Carrie grabs Mama's glove-less hands in hers (with gloves on): Here. I'll keep you warm since you didn't have the sense to wear your gloves.

Carrie: Please can I be born again, Jesus? I don't wanna be 5 yet. (AFTER she's 5!)

I dunno EDO, Mama! -Liam, 2, answering his own "where" questions.

Liam: Look Mama! A bee-duhl-tuhl-ful box!

Carrie's first attempt at drawing a butterfly: It's looks like a lobster. *pause* I made a lobster!

Carrie: What are you favorite kids?
Dada: Actually, I don't know too many goats.

Carrie, about the Hertz Neverlost system, which we call Missy the Map: Why does she say a-boaching left tohn?

Both kids: Hi Snowmanbutt!

Rice Krispies= Crackle Pops at our house. And Cocoa Puffs are Cocoa Pups to Liam.

Liam saying "fish": seef

Carrie: I'm filled with itches today.

Liam: Mees, Mama, MEES! Mo' Pea-doh bud-doh kix! (PB Cap'n Crunch)

Dada: Oh look, Mama. Here's a reference to Jesus being obedient to his parents.
Mama: Oh really? Jesus was obedient?
Carrie: So was Superman.
Much later, Carrie again: Jesus never broke the law.

Liam doesn't want to get dressed from the waist down.
Mama: Guess you're not going to the bus stop.
Liam: Yes! I go to the bus stop with my penis!

Dada, making the sign onf the cross over the halibut: Dona-nobis done-em!

Mama: I told you once, I told you twice, all season of the year are nice for eating chicken soup with...
Liam: Fries.
(Chicken Soup with Rice by Maurice Sendak)

Liam, 2: Hi morning! (Instead of Good morning)

Liam: I two and a half sleepy gee-raff! (He was obsessed w/ giraffes there for awhile)

Carrie, making art, to Mama: This one is for Pa Pa and Grandmama so don't get all excited.

Mama finishes fighting w/ Liam over toothbrushing.
Liam: No! Leggo a me! NO! I doot teet! No Mama!
Mama: This had better be worth it!
Dada: What, child rearing?
Mama: YES!

Carrie, 4 and a half: Dear Jesus, I hope I get a different Mama. Amen. I don't think you're a good Mama at all.

Grandmama: Are you tired, Liam?
Liam *indignant*: I'm tired in mine eye!

Eric to Mama during Scrabulous online: You've unleashed the furry!

Liam: I cook-king Fwench toast. DING!

Carrie, verbatim for the ad: It's waaaaaaaaaay better than fast food. It's Wendy's!

Mama: Gonna go brave the elements.
Carrie: What means braving the elephants?

Liam, throwing himself on the floor at age 2: I dead, Dada. I dead.

Mama, eating a Snickerdoodle: This is either my 4th or 5th one.
Dada: That's my woman!
Mama: They're pretty much sugar, fat, and air.
Dada: THAT'S my woman. Sugar and spice and everything nice. Oh wait. You meant the COOKIES!

Carrie: In Spanish, the word for purple is violet.

Carrie: hokey pokey, dootchie cootchie, coconut doh-chee, are you gonna call me Carrie anymore?

Carrie singing: Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea, and when he called the autumn mist which called in aunnalee...

Dada: Well, I have ANTI-special brain power!

Liam, 2 and a half: I found a op-pa-pus pop-cohn!

Carrie: Cars have one antenna. Bugs have two.

Mama, to Liam, who has his shirt most of the way off but stuck on his head: You look like a Pharoah
Liam: I look like a sparrow?

Liam: There. Dat's betto. Nice and meat!

Mama: Liam, didja wash your hands?
Liam: NOOOOOOO!
Mama: Can ya try again, please? Without yelling?
Liam: Yes.

Mama, making s'mores in the microwave: Mmmm! Perfectly squishy!
Dada: But firming up nicely!

Carrie: When will Jesus die on the cross again?
Mama: He did that already.
Carrie: Doesn't that happen in April?

Mama: Dada, didja see how big this boy is? I can't even hug him all. There're appendages everywhere!
Liam: I not an appendages!

Liam, holding up the blue hexigon magnet Sharon made: A blue Scott-i-gon!

And for the funnies: the Baby Blues one has Zoe holding her piggy bank and rolling her eyes as her grandma sticks coins in. It reads: A penny saved is a penny earned (and a sign that our grandparents are hopelessly out of touch)

Sometimes famous people make the quote board:

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. ~John Leguizamo, in InStyle

People want to know why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy- and I keep it in a jar on my desk. ~Stephen King