Paging Alexander

This post will require some rudimentary knowledge of children's literature. There's a classic called Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day in which Alexander has the worst day ever. He's the youngest of three boys, and from the moment he wakes up, his day runs steadily downhill. I loved this book as a child, and my kids have enjoyed it when I've read it to them. Throughout the story, Alexander wishes he could move to Australia, thinking perhaps he'd have better luck there.

Last night I set my alarm for 6 AM, thinking I'd get up and have some quiet time before the kids got up. I went to bed at a little after 10 PM. This morning, my door clicks open at 7:59 AM and Liam cheerfully calls, "Good morning, Mama!" I do a triple-take at the clock and race downstairs to find Carrie dressed (I'd gotten her clothes out yesterday) and waiting patiently for her breakfast. Not only that, she'd set out three cups, three bowls, and three spoons for us! Never mind that she has to be out of the house in 15 minutes to head for Jillian's house and then the bus.

As I'm frantically throwing her lunch together, she tells me "I don't need to go to Jillian's today. She has a bad fever and isn't going to school." I glance over my shoulder and see the phone sitting there. "Did her mom call you and tell you that?" She nods.

We get breakfast into her super-fast and get her into her hat/gloves/raincoat because of course it is pouring cats and dogs out there. I remind her not to go to Jillian's, to just head straight to the bus, and try to breathe for a minute.

Liam, amazingly, honored my request to let me focus on her until she had to leave and stayed out from underfoot. Oh, I know why, now. He had her black gloves with the glow in the dark skeleton bones on one side and was boxing in front of the glassed-in fireplace. That makes sense. Okay, so he did relinquish gloves pretty smoothly and then we sent her off.

I got him his breakfast and have already had Triskal in and out (twice) and dried off to the best of the ability of the two towels that are dripping in the garage right now. She looked just like the kids when I told her to "shake" after she already had. "Mom's lost it. I just DID already!" Nothing like eau de soggy dog...

I knew I was going to make stew today, so as I haul the meat out of the fridge to cut it up, I wasn't paying attention and ended up boggling the bag. Naturally, the bag was all bloody on the bottom and it spilled all over the bottom of the fridge and the floor. And naturally, Liam and Triskal both want to be in the kitchen right then, though for different reasons. I shoo them out, clean up the mess inside and out, and start chopping meat. Liam keeps asking to help, so I had to promise to let him help when I get to a spot in the recipe that is kid-friendly. I told him I'll call him when I need him.

I am going to attempt to bake some bread next, and in the back of my mind there is this tiny voice from "Into the Woods" talking about how the baker's father had "a baking accident." It's said very ominously in the musical, and I can't wait to see how this day continues.

So would someone please get a hold of Alexander for me? Please find that kid and tell him I'm coming with him...