Photos from Nic's phone

In case the title threw you, let it be known that Carrie is going by Nic these days, which is short for Nicole (her middle name). Most of these are from her phone.

We spent a week in the Outer Banks with my brother, his wife, my cousin and his family, my aunt and uncle and another cousin, and 3-4 dogs depending on the day. We did some days at the pool, some at the ocean, visited Booty Treats twice (it was a slow year for us, I guess), Duck Donuts once (that would be Dada, haha), and didn't get poured on like we did last year. We look forward to this trip every year, but it was extra special because we got to celebrate miss Maudie's 90th birthday with her. It is actually today, so here's your shout out, Maudie! Happy birthday! And thank you to the Reed and Walls clan for hosting us! We love you all!

The first daytime trip to the ocean was pretty calm, but it was chilly.

Lexi, AKA the Fruit Bat, is the third of the beach house's resident dogs. She is only a year old and is a smiley, sassy piece of work.

Nic's favorite- the ocean at night.

During the family photo shoot in Manteo

Twinning with my cousin David, who does lighting and sound for Paparazzi in Kitty Hawk.

Damon saying hi to the ocean for the first time this summer.

Wilder water during our next day trip. I thought being knocked around more would be a deterrent for Damon, but it didn't even slow him down. He makes friends wherever he goes and was playing ball with friends old (senior citizens) and young. 

Awwwww. Again, check out Amy's work at Seaside Topsail Photography on Facebook!

Vacation mash up

Damon in the saaaand with diaaaaamonds

Hacker in the background and elderly Annie in the foreground

Tiny frog in the left hand window, checking out Lainie's wreath

Aunt Lainie, Hinrew & Muggin, and us

We used Damon's fourth grade Every-Kid-In-A-Park pass to check out all the new exhibits at the Wright Brothers Memorial. We hadn't been there since Liam was in 4th grade and they've added quite a bit since then. It was hot, but there was a great breeze blowing, which was one of the reasons the brothers picked Kitty Hawk to test out gliders in the first place. I read on vacation and highly recommend David McCullough's The Wright Brothers. It is excellently done and made visiting the Memorial that much better.

A certain someone was up to no good while out unsupervised. At least he didn't come home with any more wool blankets...

Getting some kisses from Hacker. Check out how hard that tail is wagging. He is such a love bug!

Sunset

Of course they're all out of order, *sigh*, but they'll give you a good idea of the gorgeous sunset we had for family pictures. Check out Amy at Seaside Topsail Photography on Facebook for the professional ones as these are just from my phone. She is talented and wonderful fun to work with. Thank you, Amy, for driving all that way to capture us! Even though Miss Maudie missed "Jeopardy", she said it was worth it and you just don't get much higher praise than that.

Sunrise

Lest we get stuck on the bridge out for hours, we leave at Oh-Butt-Ugly-AM. The perk? One last sunrise.

I love that there is still mist, too. 

This Old House

After 40 plus years, my parents are moving.

Sorry, shoulda had you sit down first.

We stopped in on our way home to see the new place for the first time but I didn't take any pictures as they still have boxes and plastic wrap over the carpet so it wouldn't have done the place justice. However, some of us then made a trip over to the old homestead.

Some of you have been to Ye Olde House on the Hill and may have fond memories of hanging out on the porch swing ("that is NOT a roller coaster. Be gentle. GENTLE!"), or sliding down the now lily covered hill (which my Dad used to have to mow) on the Twister tarp ("what are you DOING!?") or coloring with sidewalk chalk all over the corner lot ("Girls, we need rain. Can you go draw, please?").

This is the porch swing where my bestie and I used to snooker my little brother into being a "patient". Once we had his consent and he was prone, we'd tie him to the swing with a jump rope so he wouldn't fall off and then would proceed to "operate" on him with our Fisher Price doctors' kits. Being extremely ticklish, I was always surprised that he'd consented more than once...

This was the Storage of Christmas Stuff room in our attic. I never thought I'd see the day that it was empty. There are crayon scribbles on the ceiling behind the cameraman and Carrie asked me if I'd done it. "Seeing as it says 'Jack B wrote this', what do YOU think?"

My parents' eat-in kitchen. Looks forlorn without the full view of mom's baskets on the walls and fun things in the cubbies. Also looks naked without the fridge and stove, haha.

The living room, with PaPa's vacuuming triangles if you look close. I always loved the French doors.

This was my bedroom, my gorgeous floor. When I lived here, it was covered in hideous (not an exaggeration) wallpaper showing large avocado, sunset orange, and yellow flowers. When I was small, second grade maybe, my parents redid it for me in Holly Hobbie wallpaper with soft blue trim. That lasted until about my junior year of high school when I'd worn my parents down with my begging and pleading to paint it Bermuda blue. AND they let me do a mural featuring a dragon on the smallest wall. Once I moved out, my mom papered it and had a very restful seaside theme going, featuring shells from the ocean and adorable stuffed crabs we'd picked up in our travels. 

And that would be Carrie helping unwallpaper during one of her visits when she was small. The bed fit between those windows and she saw a peely part so she "helped."

So send your good vibes to my parents as they downsize and, most importantly, enjoy only one flight of stairs in their new home instead of four. 

I shudder to think what Shenanigans this old house would report if these walls could talk.

Final stops on the way home

Sunday brought visits with friends. In the morning we met up with friends I've had since seventh grade. We used to sing together in choir all through high school. Mar was in our wedding, and she now has a spunky daughter who is as close to exactly like her as possible, haha! Even though I haven't seen Mike since graduation, we picked right up where we left off and it was just like we hadn't missed any time in between. I have THE best tribe.

Much closer to home, we had ice cream (of course) with our camp friends, Tom and Stacy, and their lovely daughters. They'd stopped through last summer when I was doing chemo and had no hair. These sweet girls have been praying for me for a long time, and it was so nice to be able to hug them and thank them and their terrific parents! They've had six weeks of adventures out West and were also headed home but managed to squeeze us into their schedule. 

Yes, we are missing a child. Damon is spending the week with Pap- you didn't miscount. 

And continuing with the lovely sunsets, even in Ohio:

                                     

The Jonah talk

Since I'm behind, might as well go way back. June 6 I told Dada we were going to go on a date and that he should leave that blocked into his schedule so he wouldn't be tempted to stay late at work. He said, "yay, a date!"

I told him very little else and we drove to a local church. We received a program for the evening and there were a few faces he recognized as I was getting hugs.

It was a cancer survivors' dinner, our very first one, and we had a great time getting to know the other couples at our table, having our picture taken, and a delightful dinner. 

Some of my friends spilled the beans and revealed my secret: I was one of the guest speakers for the evening. Some of you may have seen a picture of me on Facebook with my mouth open, haha! Dada was pretty impressed that I'd kept it secret even from him. He likes surprises. I do not.

I'd thought and prayed a lot about what I wanted to say. I didn't want the message to be focused on me. I truly wanted every person there to hear whatever God wanted them to hear and not have it be about me. What follows is roughly what I told everyone that night:

Mike called me in March to tell me about this dinner and to ask if I would consider speaking in front of 150-200 people. My very first thought was, "yikes!" My next thought was, "wait a minute. You've gone through chemo, surgery, radiation, new meds, and you're afraid of a little public speaking?" My third thought was, "yes!" I asked him what people generally talked about as I've never been to one of these before. He answered, "survivorship." I asked how long I had to think about it and he said he'd need to know by the end of March. I thought it over for a week and called him back when I least expected him to be in the office so I could tell his voice mail that, yes, I'll give it a try.

Then I told nobody.

Eventually, as I mused about survivors, the story of Jonah came to mind. Most of you are familiar with the tale. Jonah receives an assignment from God but he has no intention of going to Nineveh. He boards a ship and heads as fast and as far as he can in the opposite direction. God seems to say, "okay, we're going to learn this one the hard way, are we?" He sends a storm. The sailors do everything in their power to save the situation but fail. Jonah ends up thrown overboard and, instead of drowning, is then swallowed by a big fish. For three days and nights he is inside the fish before being spat out, and then he wisely decides to fulfill his mission. He delivers his message, the city repents, and instead of being pleased, Jonah is angry and bitter and complains about the Lord being merciful.

I thought about how many parallels there are between Jonah's story and my cancer journey. When first diagnosed, it's a natural reaction to want to deny it or to not want to deal with it at all and pretend everything is fine. Generally, though, major health issues don't resolve themselves on their own, so men, yes, I'm talking especially to you, get yourselves checked out if you are having issues. Eventually you have to get the experts involved. In Jonah's case, they were the sailors. They knew their rigging, the weather, those waters. In our case, it's our medical team. They're up to date on the procedures, the meds, the techniques, everything they need to help heal us. However, like the sailors, they are only human beings and some things are out of their hands. Perhaps it is unfair to expect perfection, though they do very good work. 

Jonah ended up in the sea and then in the dark in the fish. Here's the storms of uncertainty, the unknown, the millions of questions swirling around. "Will I be able to handle chemo? What will the new normal look like? How will everything look after I go through this? Will I even make it through this? What if I don't?" It's terrible to be in the dark of the storm, but God in his mercy doesn't leave Jonah there and he also doesn't leave us there. 

We come out of the storm and continue our path. In our case, it's our rounds of treatment. We go to the doctors, we listen to our team, we take our meds, we have the surgery, we do the thing. 

Jonah delivered his message and pouted and sulked and was bitter about the results. I think a lot of people would be happy to give us as patients a pass from doing too much. "No, you need to rest." "You're still healing." "Take it easy, don't overdo it." I think we forget that helping others also makes us feel better. I hope that your journey doesn't bring bitterness and self pity about "why did this happen to me?" I may be preaching to the choir as you're here tonight to celebrate your survivorship, but I would encourage all of you to find someone or something to contribute to, that you're passionate about, and help others. 

Thanks for coming tonight!

...
I won't pretend I wasn't nervous, but I really was excited to see what God did. Even now, a month after the event, it still thrills me that He used me. I'm so glad I said yes to the opportunity. The audience was so warm and welcoming and it makes me tear up even now to remember the sweet little old ladies nodding encouragingly to me while I was onstage. The hugs afterwards from my radiation team and my doctor were especially savored. 

My Mommee mentioned that I'll have no idea who my talk might have helped, and to think that someone in that room who perhaps was there as someone's support system might down the road be diagnosed themselves and they might remember my message of hope when that never even dawned on me really hit home. I hope so much that people realize how much they matter and how much they are loved!

Summer snippet

Finally watched "Solo" with the boys, who naturally got quite the kick out of it. I don't remember now if there's a creature in it which prompted the discussion, if he was thinking of "Pirates of the Caribbean", or if Liam's imagination is the culprit, but we had a conversation about a space kraken. He quipped, "it'd be a spraken!" Makes sense to me. 

Liam's at Fusion camp this week, so the Resident Nine Year Old spent the day at the pool with me yesterday. He is happy as a clam plummeting off the diving boards, tooling around in the lazy river, soaking up sunbeams on his deck chair while ensconced in my floppy hat, or splashing around in the shallower pool. I am also happy as a clam as I get to sun and read in relative peace. One of Carrie's favorite comic strips is called "Strange Planet" by Nathan W. Pyle, and we have a running joke about the one featuring "star damage". You can find it here ; have fun perusing his strip. It's very entertaining! 

I don't know if everyone is having the same issue with bugs and weeds that we are and if it's because of the incredibly wet spring and the lack of rain now or what, but mosquitoes and some unidentified but apparently ravenous type of bug have eaten me alive this year. I have a sneaking suspicion something crawled into bed with me, twice, and has nibbled all over. The only conclusion I can draw is that I am quite tasty. It leaves itchy raised bumps like a mosquito bite, but the tips fill with fluid like a blister. Any idea what special level of Hades that happens to be? Not a big fan, I must confess. So I'm out there watering the garden before 7 AM in jeans, boots, a hoodie, with my shirt and pants tucked in, gloves, and a baseball cap sprayed with bug repellent, waving the bugs away from my face. This morning I ended up in a cloud of gnats who decided it'd be fun to hover under the brim of my baseball cap. Ugh. How is it that the tomato plants look the same as they did when I transplanted them yet the weeds have covered every inch of available space and then some? I could tear everything out and then the next day they're back again. Persistent little buggers! I do have one tiny cucumber though, yay!

We hosted the June and July birthdays for Dada's Krav Maga group last Saturday. It was a small turnout but that just means we got a lot of fun out of a smaller group of people. And it means we had to clean first. If you want to see our bar clear, some right after we have a party, haha! That's the only time any of our horizontal surfaces are ever free. We also witnessed a kettle of vultures cruising overhead for probably a solid ten minutes. They like to roost on the neighboring funeral home (how fitting is that? I find it funny and a bit spooky) and in the parking lot. They're probably the same ones who circle hopefully whenever I'm riding along the bike trail...

Damon has a bluebird visitor that we've been spotting with some regularity. We used to see him at the bus stop while we waited, but I've seen him swooping around out back above the ditch/creek and he was back out by the bus stop when we retrieved the garbage and recycling bins yesterday. Liam's favorites are still the goldfinches, which we often hear chattering from "up high" in the branches, "po-ta-to chip, po-ta-to chip" and he never fails to light up when he hears them.

We've been going through a lot of Gatorade, library books, bug spray, sunscreen, and ice cream this summer. How about you? The roofers aren't finished yet and I've been trying to hold off on planting some of my flower seeds because they'll end up right where the rest of the old shingles will be dropped. I don't know if I should just give up and get them in the ground and hope for the best or if I should just give up for the year completely. I suppose I could round up enough pots to just try them that way, but that seems like more work than I want to do. Summer is supposed to be a break, right? 

Happy Hump Day!