Life is messy

Around midnight last night I began musing about messes. I'm not sure why my brain decided to begin composing a blog post after I'd already been asleep, but I was now awake and that's what it thought would be a good idea.

I smiled in the dark, thinking about one of the kids' favorite episodes of Peppa Pig, the one about the Muddy Puddles. If you haven't had the pleasure of watching this gem of a show, you are missing out. Even though our oldest two were too old for it, technically, that didn't stop them or me from getting a huge kick out of the British accents, the ridiculousness of a family of pigs wearing clothes and interacting with other animals, and most of all, their dialogue. If you're curious, here is the link to the episode: click here . I had nothing to do with the art, production, etc. and claim no credit. 

The kids loved the reaction to the observation, "look what a mess you're making" being a simple, "oh." They use this line on me whenever I'm ready to blow my stack over whatever current catastrophe-in-the-making they are embarking on. I think their favorite part is that in order to play in the mud, the pigs must first put on boots. *blink blink* Yeah, I'll just leave that there for now.

It made me think about the adventures little kids begin: finger painting, texture tables, solid "finger foods", play doh, smash cakes, and yes, mud puddles.

Why is it that we encourage all of these activities for the under 5 crowd (and then briefly revisit them during college, perhaps; I have treasured, fond memories of playing in mud puddles with friends both at camp and at my university) but experience such a cerebral "ugh, are you kidding me" reaction when someone wants to drag out the play doh bin or the beads or the entire collection of Legos? Or, God forbid, glitter? But then why do we pay actual money to sign ourselves up for Warrior Dashes and Tough Mudders to justify playing in the mud? When did we get so afraid of Mess?

Why is so much advertising focused on the unending stream of products formulated to clean up our messes? We have some for laundry, separate from the ones for dishes, more for floors, specific window cleaners, furniture polishes, ones designed specially for our vehicles, and then we start on our bodies. Having no hair this summer streamlined my maintenance routine in more ways than one; I didn't have to participate in the shampoo, conditioner, serum, mousse, gel, texture, hairspray, product arena. I did still need the soaps and lotions and toothpaste and hand soap...

Did you know you can wash dishes with dirt?

Why this obsession with cleanliness perfection? Because clearly this goes way past clean. One doesn't take twenty pictures of their living room for social media when it is merely clean. One takes twenty to figure out from which angle it looks perfect. And here's my PSA for today: all of yours look better than mine, so breathe easy and step away from the vacuum. I'm okay with that. Dust is not my enemy. It's been around long enough to make it a family member. Perhaps one I wish would move on out but the reality is that's never gonna happen. Why are we afraid to have people over if the house isn't cleaned top to bottom? 

One of the very best pieces of advice an online friend gave me years ago was, "they are coming for dinner, not inspection." Thank you, Oli, wherever you are. That observation was pure genius and has freed me from so much stress over the years. Your friends, your family, your youth group, are all coming over because they love you and enjoy your company. Stop stressing over the fact that your family or your self are imperfect human beings who make messes. Get out the "good" china and enjoy it (maybe not with the youth group)- that's its function, to be used! Those plates want food on them! Use your imagination and envision the dishware from Beauty and the Beast and their desire to serve. If it stays in the cupboard/attic/garage, why even have it? 

One of the reasons our church heavily promotes being part of a small group is because over time those people become like family, ready to wade into whatever mess is currently taking up space in your life. Life is messy for all of us. For some it's relational: a marriage struggling, a fractured friendship, a prodigal child. For others it's a health crisis, a diagnosis you never saw coming (been there, done that), chronic something or other that never lets go, age, or some combination of them all. There's always the Fun and Games that life throws at you like being laid off, a car accident, a transfer to the unknown. You could name twenty others if you thought about it. The point is that you need those people to enter into your mess, and you into theirs. We are not intended to go it alone. 

So please decide in this still-new, still-fresh year to create time to spend drawing closer to someone else. If even the idea of having people over terrifies you or sets your anxiety level into the atmosphere, tweak it. Choose to meet up somewhere else, somewhere you're all comfortable. I realize for some people that means online, and while I get that, you really need to be careful too. I'm talking another person you can actually touch, because they are important in different ways. I don't want anyone ending up like Sandra Bullock's character in "The Net." Find a mentor, try out a new hobby, join a class (it doesn't have to be a gym, but if that kills multiple birds with one stone then go for it), start a book club, just find some way to connect with the people around you. You wouldn't want them to miss out on you, right!? And by this time next year or a few years down the road, you might have a Tribe that you wonder how you'd ever do life without. Thanks for being a part of mine. 

The promised graduation post and our typical Saturdays

Hi! I got a little carried away with karate pictures, as usual, so I tried to tidy them up some so I wouldn't be tempted to add a hundred of them. 

Damon moved from a low green belt to a high green belt, so he's featured in some of the pictures but didn't bump up to a different belt color. Hopefully that will happen in February. Brrr. I don't even want to think about February. But after that graduation all three Thingz will be in the same class again for the rest of forever and let me just make the sound here to express how excited I am about that: Wahoooooooooooooooooo!!

As always, click on any picture to see it in more detail and larger. Damon was featured in two of the weapons displays, though he informed us later that he should have only been in one (typical), and Carrie did one as well. 

New belts, with the exception of black belts, are tied on by parents after the graduation ceremony. Black belts are tied on, onstage, by instructors. The medals around their necks mean they graduated with honors. In order to do that, they had to have turned in at least three karate homeworks. The categories are Knowledge (reading minutes, which ties in nicely with the school reading logs), Self-Discipline (which encourages them to be responsible around the house and with homework, etc), Goal Setting (which seems the easiest to me: three goals and how you'll achieve them. Two of the three have to be completed before you turn it in. Liam's first goal is "to not quit until black belt!" Needless to say, his paper hasn't been turned in yet...), and Respect (going out of their way to be helpful/courteous/etc and must be signed by a parent AND a teacher). 

I can't say enough good things about this program. Yes, it takes up a ton of our time and, let's be honest, our money. But the instructors are amazing, patient, encouraging, dedicated, and fun. Not only are the Thingz learning martial arts and defense, but they're in something that isn't instant gratification. They're starting to see that accomplishments take a long time and that you need to stick to it to be good at something. Do they always want to go? No. Do I always want to take them? No. But we feel that these are good lessons for our family and that this particular program will help their lives in other ways down the road as well as helping them stay physically active now. 

And then there are these feet that I just adore. Damon is still disappointed that he isn't yet a brown belt, which is the lowest of the highest belt levels. He was pouting about his lack of a new belt in the above photo.

It's too bad that you really don't get a sense from the pictures of how hard these kids work. They go to class 2-3 times a week in our old town. Most weeks we go Monday for both of their level classes, Tuesday for weapons, and then again Wednesday for both classes again. Thursday nights are our night off, every other Friday tries to host home group, and weekends are crazy. 

This weekend we did our third Mystery Adventure (see previous post) and three karate classes on Saturday. This is a first. The Academy hosts a Grappling class at 10 AM. It is an elective, but highly beneficial towards earning one's black belt. Until now, the Thingz could only do one elective and they'd chosen weapons, which improves focus and concentration. Grappling is more like wrestling, and I am not even close to qualified to tell you how they differ. 

Anyway, now that the big kids are only six months away from being black belts, they are officially black belt candidates and are encouraged to take classes in everything. One, they'll need all that stuff for their black belt tests, which is taken in stages, and two, it's kind of a reward for sticking with the program for the years required to get to this point. 

So the big kids were excited to head into that first Grappling class. I stayed home and sent the camera with Pap, who was visiting. And kudos to him; in spite of being intimidated by the fancy camera, he did a great job capturing them!

As Damon is not yet a candidate, this was how he spent his time while Thing One and Two were on the floor:

After 45 minutes or more of hot, sweaty working, it was time for their regular family class which means any student of any level participates in the same class. There are jumping jacks, push ups, and some kind of ab work in addition to all the karate stuff they do.

After 45 plus minutes of that class, they take a break to put on their sparring gear:

That class is also 45 minutes or so. We had hot, sweaty, tired, starving Thingz come home! Again, good job to Pap for taking super pictures!

Thing Three

 

Thing Three has started karate. I can't remember if I said that already or not. He had his two mini lessons and has joined the regular class. A big part of martial arts is continual growth in strength and knowledge. Here they are strengthening their bodies with jumping jacks:

 

 

I'm sure having older siblings also in karate has helped with his stance as he can watch them in their class, but check out that form. Hehe!

 

Pushups help with, "getting stronger, Sir!" I love that they call that back to him when he says, "down for pushups" or "down for situps"... how come they don't respond with, "growing character, Ma'am" when I tell them, "time to clean"?

 

This is a knife hand something or other, I think...

 

All in all, he is fun to watch and HE is having fun. He was really nervous and in tears before his first lesson, but warmed up well and enthusiastically tackled everything he was presented. He was so excited to be able to join the big class! I can't wait for him to get his gi, or uniform, because then he'll really feel like he's part of the crew.

 

If you come visit, we'll have to take you to class. Good, clean entertainment. ;)