Coffee conundrum

 The saddest part of this story is that it happened yesterday and I didn't even have the built in excuse of, "oh, that's Monday." 

Yesterday I attempted to make coffee, something I do almost daily (though I confess to drinking my fair share of leftover coffee from the day before. I'm a mom. As long as it's hot, I don't care. That's why I often find my mug in the microwave, which has been beeping patiently at me, reminding me that my coffee is in there!)

First, I needed to reassemble my drip coffee maker with its grinder. No big deal, it's about six pieces in total. I slide the barrel into place that holds the filter and the bottom half of the grinder up top. I reach for my bag of beans from our local coffeeshop (which is excellent, by the way) and dump a spoonful into the barrel. 

"Waitaminute," I muse to myself. "I've done that before." When one attempts to grind coffee beans without a filter, one's kitchen is scented and sprayed with the delightful aroma and unbelievable mess of fine coffee grounds. Been there, done that, much to the kids' delighted mirth. They feel the same way about the story of my Pap Pap making popcorn on the stove but forgetting the lid, something none of us were alive for but a story we all find hilarious because my Pap Pap was just about the most organized and process-oriented man alive.

I dump the beans back out, add the all-important paper filter (I prefer the brown ones. I don't need bleached paper that's just going to turn brown anyway. Seems silly to me. Plus, they're cuter, like brown eggs and black sheep. I digress.) Then I poured the beans back into the exact same but now filter-lined spot. 

"Waitaminute," I sighed to myself. "Those are beans. They need ground first." Removing the beans again and redepositing them into the grinder where they belong, I try to make coffee for the third time. 

I finally get all the pieces assembled and pour in the rest of the beans and the water. I turn the thing on and ponder, "what does it mean when you need coffee in order to simply make coffee?" 

Plutonium jelly, origami fireballs, and broccoli soup

Since it's Autumn, again, and the heat's on and the fireplace is occupied with cheery flames, and the heavier covers are on the beds, the dry-cracking skin game has also begun around here. My fingertips are so snaggy that I hate to touch anything soft lest I velcro myself to it. Liam's poor lips are already chapped and sore. He about had a fit when we suggested he put on some petroleum jelly, even when we assured him it would sting way less than chapstick. 

"I don't WANT to use plutonium jelly!"

...

Yes. Well. 

After trying it for an overnight or two, his lips are a little better and aren't stinging quite so much. Enough better that he put some on himself yesterday without a knockout-dragout fight. Small victories, people.

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So some of you have snow. SNOW. Unreal. You can keep it.

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Do you know what this is?

That would be what I confiscated from the Damonater. He's been rolling up toilet paper and calling them Origami Fireballs. 

... again.

I have no idea if it's from a book or a show or a friend or what, but he thinks balled up TP is absolutely hilarious and wants to make them for his siblings. 

Please do not submit to the urge to place an order. I will hunt you down.

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I spotted broccoli for 99 cents a head at Aldi a few weeks back. I grabbed three of them, washed them up and froze them once I was back home, and pulled a bag out yesterday to whip up some imitation Panera broccoli cheese soup.

Since Dada is trying to minimize carbs, we substituted almond flour for the regular all-purpose stuff. We also were out of half and half, so the heavy whipping cream went into the pot instead. We figured they'd kind of cancel each other out. 

It didn't quite thicken up as much as I'd hoped for, but the flavor is very good and because we doubled the recipe we even have some for the freezer. It's definitely soup season!

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Dada and Liam sold popcorn for the Boy Scouts this weekend at our local Bass Pro Shop. Fortunately, it was sunny and not as windy as it is today. This coming weekend will be Boy Scout camp, which I know someone is looking forward to. I hope they don't turn into Scoutsicles. 

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Our sweet Nina turned 10 last week and Liam's birthday is rapidly approaching. We'll be bowling, in costumes, so be sure to check back here for a post about that. My money's on those pictures definitely being worth 1,000 words. 

Until then, we'll keep processing apples, slogging through homework, driving to and from karate, and being up to our usual shenanigans. Have a terrific week! And stay toasty!

Something must be in the air...

I can't believe it's the last day of September already. It got cold in a hurry. Remember, I'm chilly any temperature under 70, and 56 is the morning is a far cry from 70. I do like sleeping with windows open once it cools down, but the getting out of the blankets is a bit harder...

Anyway, I'm not sure what has happened to my brain, but if you see it, please send it my way. I'm sure Mess is to blame (though I blame Delores*) because I've read that clutter short circuits your brain and causes stress. I'm living that, then, I guess!

I have:

- boxes that need mailed

- books that need dropped off to be resold at our second hand book shop

- clothes and shoes that need to make it to either church or Goodwill

- cookbooks strewn from Hither to Yon because Dada is now doing low/no-carb meals (and anyone who knows me at all can conclude three things from that: I would starve, cookies are my love language, and I am Queen of Carbs)

- kids who try to clean but do it less than half-heartedly (quarter- heartedly? One eighth-heartedly? A dash? A SMIDGEN! I have smidgen-hearted cleaners!) so anytime I return one item to the room in which it belongs, I find two or three or twelve items in that room which don't belong there so I head elsewhere to return them and find the same in the next spot, and so on... long story short, nothing ever feels finished. Welcome to Motherhood, right? Moving on.

- fundraising papers for school (side rant- skip this is you're tired of me complaining. Who is going to pay $16 for a pumpkin roll when you can get two-and-a-half pumpkin rolls for that price at the grocery store!?)

- fundraising papers for Boy Scouts. Anyone want popcorn? Seriously. Let me know. We're selling.

- Kindergarten papers. Holy cow, WHEN is Kindergarten going paperless? Every day, entire trees go home in these folders! I realize it's because these little guys are doing lots of cutting and pasting and tracing and drawing and writing and my heavens, the paper, the trees, make it stop!

- mail that needs sorted, because, come on, we might need one of the millions of pizza coupons or actually use one of the weekly Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons for... I don't know, something...

- use your imagination. Some of you, look around your house. You'll figure it out. The rest of you, go back to the imagination part. Better yet, don't. Just come over and drop a match.

*Delores. Since my brain is shot, I don't remember if I've talked about Delores before. At camp, we got telephone calls for Delores. There's never been a Delores at camp the same time I've been there. It got to the point where we'd laugh and complain about Delores not showing up for work, for slacking off, for breaking something, whatever went wrong had to have been her fault. 

Delores is now my imaginary housekeeper for much the same reason. If I get up and there are dishes in the sink from the previous day, Delores slacked off again. If the laundry isn't put away, Delores didn't show up for work. Sometimes I fire Delores because her work ethic is apparently terrible...

Delores has a friend named Bindhu. But that's a post for another day. They'd last been seen vacationing in Cleveland...
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That's just there because this is a totally different train of thoughts. Random ones. Things I've been thinking about.

When you use tweezers, are you tweezing or tweezering? Why do we simply stick "plucking" in there? What's with that?

What kind of fruit tempted Eve enough that she'd doom all of us? I've never been that tempted by a fruit. It must have been chocolate covered, right? Did I already talk about this? I know Dada and I have discussed it...

Robert Fulghum mentioned his wish that crayon bombs would be invented many years ago. It was probably in All I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, but I have several of his books, so they've kind of blended together in my mind. It got me thinking about how the human race seems so set on harming each other. Wouldn't it be interesting if someone would figure out software that would sense the target and not let the weapon fire if the target registered as a human being? Like for hunters, deer, elk, turkeys, birds, whatever, would all register as acceptable targets, but another hunter wouldn't be accidentally shot because the weapon would register it as something to not be harmed? I guess I'm thinking of Baymax from Big Hero 6 and how his software kept him focused on helping and caring. And for those of you who are already protesting, "but we have the Bible and that IS our software to keep us from harming others!" I get it. I went there, too. I guess I'm just wishing the weapon would say something snarky in a Captain Jack Sparrow voice when a human was targeted, "oy, onion-head, that be a fellow matey. Choose an acceptable target, savvy?" and "what arrrrrrrrrrr you thinkin'? Go work it out. Use your worrrrrds!" Dreams, dreams. Anyway. Somebody get on it. 

Since I obviously can't do crayon bombs, I was pretty delighted to find this idea on Facebook. You start with your pile o' crayons:

Cull through them and find the broken and/or naked ones. Get them all naked, and break them however they'll fit best:

Now bake those little suckers at 275 for about 10 minutes. Dada figured out how to pop them out as I didn't grease the muffin cups or anything. It's a great way to use up busted crayons that the kids don't use. The post said they are also great goody bag stuffers. I was thinking it'd be fun to donate them to a preschool or a kindergarten for one of their centers or stations... it also gives your fingers something to do other than snack while you're watching TV. Peeling crayons takes fine motor skills and dexterity, so it'd also be a good activity for small kids (as long as they don't eat crayons) or Alzheimer's patients (as long as their arthritis isn't too bad) and you end up with fun, not-quite-lid-size crayons that are a blend of colors or solid colors. It's up to you! Get creative!

Why do people wear the same handful of pairs of underwear when there's a whole drawer full of the stuff? Even Carrie commented on this, saying, and I quote, "it's alarming."

What is it about fall that makes me want to dye my hair? Did I already talk about this, too? I know Jessie and I discussed this...

I AM NOT READY FOR COLD! I do not want to say goodbye to my sandals, sundresses, and shorts yet! I do not want to see boots and scarves and jackets yet! I WAS NOT MADE FOR WINTER! Or fall. Pbbbbbbbbbbt.

I'm also not ready for the windows to be shut. It makes me even more conscious of how much the dog smells. Eww.

And can I just say, since I'm so totally random anyway, that "Bailando" by Enrique Iglesias is my very favorite song these days? I could loop it and listen to it repeat for hours. It's so bouncy and fun! In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, click right here.  I love the Spanish guitar, the female dancer's hair, the gowns and fans, the soccer balls, and Carrie and I think the green-hatted dancer is just the cutest thing! So fun. Play it again, Sam!