Mysteries

These have already made it onto the quote board, so they will be duplicated here down the road. However, they are too good to make you wait for them.

Fresh from this morning:

We were discussing how today Liam turns 3 and a half. I sang, "Happy half birthday to Liam" and explained how he was the same age as Nina.
Liam: You're forty-free.
Mama: I'm thirty-three. I'll be 43 when you're 13.
Carrie: I'll be dead by then.
Mama: No you will not! You'll be 15!
Carrie: Your mom will be dead.
Mama: Nuh uh. She WILL be an old lady. (thinking, "I better hush up right now...")

And aunt Lisa's already heard this one. Disclaimer for those of you who are more socially polite and discreet than the rest of us: you probably won't find this as hilarious as the rest of us!

At the dinner table two nights ago:

Liam: I wish I was a girl.
Carrie: I wish I was a boy.
(You can tell this is a recurring discussion around here, because I skip her comment to focus on his, which I haven't heard many, many times before.)
Mama: Why? Do you want to wear dresses?
Liam: No.
Mama: Do you want to wear tights?
Liam: No.
Carrie: If you were a girl, you wouldn't be able to play with your penis. You wouldn't have one. It would be gone.
Liam: My penis would be gone? (said in a wondering "what in the world would have happened to it" kind of voice, not a "ye gods what would have happened to it!?" kind of voice.)

I had to leave the room. I grabbed a marker and headed for the quote board and the next thing I heard was from Carrie; "Mama, why do you have your head on the wall? What are you writing?"