The Best Nest, year 3 11/12- 4

I can NOT believe that we've been in this house almost 4.5 years. It amazes me all the time that this is how it feels to stay put long enough to have 5 quote boards from the same location! Now that I have my cup of coffee warmed back up and have changed the music in the CD player, I'm ready to lay the latest in funny sayings on you. Enjoy!

pre-Thanksgiving '09
Carrie, age 6: I do not want too clen up mama. wi do I have too clen up. but you no that I LOVE YOE. (translation: I do not want to clean up, Mama. Why do I have to clean up? But you know that I love you.)

Mama, discussing Thanksgiving and how many people were going to be here (about 27 the day after Thanksgiving): We're not going to have any leftovers! (The only explanation I can offer here is Pregnancy Insanity...)

Dada, talking about Brazil nut dressing: I make no guarantees that I'm gonna be Chuck-worthy. (He has a cousin, Chuck, who is an excellent cook!)

Carrie, flipping through Newsweek: MAMA! I see Rock Obama!!

Carrie, inspecting bread dough containing wheat flour: Did you put someone's freckles in there?

Carrie should be getting ready for school but is spelling "Diego" repeatedly instead: D-A-G-O, D-A-G-O...

Liam: My penis is waiting to peeeeee...

Carrie: There's Chili's. It's the one with the pickle on it.

On a roadtrip, we pull into a Cracker Barrel in Findlay, OH. Carrie: We're not very far... we only got as far as Cracker Barrel.

Mama is stroking Liam's soft skin and he declares: Mama! You're driving me itches!

Liam to Mama, after she wrote his name on his magnifying glass (again): Thanks, Mama! You're a super-good-letter-do-er!

Liam admonishing Mama: my new socks have letters on them. Why did you draw on them!? (Hanes)

Carrie, age 6: I realllllllllllllllllllly want a (Nintendo) DS. Everyone has one but me!
Mama: AND you want an iPOD. And a pony.
Carrie snorts giggles: A PONY?! I don't want a PONY!
Mama: Good! Cuz you're not getting one! HA!

Mama to Liam: Here.
Liam, singing: Thaaaaaaaaaaaank you for the minty circle!
Mama: God bless you- you are SO cute.
Liam, through mouthful of minty circle: I didn't have a sneeze...

Mama to Liam: Do you want music or do you like the peace?
Liam, in a perfect deadpan: I like the peace, thank you very much.

Dada to Mama: Sunlight looks good on you.

Liam, age 4, discussing "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing": Angels fly. They don't sing.
Mama: They sing too. That's part of their job.
Liam: *pause* And they play drums.
Mama: Ooh, do they? I hope so. That'd be great!
Liam: I'm the drummer angel. You're the bongo angel.

Carrie, age 6.5: I'm very famous at puzzles, actually.

Liam's supposed to be using the toilet. Instead he's fully-clothed and "juggling".
Liam: I'm juggling invisible oranges!
Grandmama: I know. I can see it from here.
Mama cracks up, thinking, "busted!"
Grandmama continues: What I WANT to see is your invisible butt on the pot!
Mama and Carrie both crack up laughing.

Hazelnut coffee is brewing on a Saturday morning while the kids are singing "The Wonderpets" themesong at the tops of their voices.
Mama: *inhaling deeply* Isn't that the best smell?
Dada: I dunno. I can't smell anything with all this noise.

On a no-school day, Liam asks: Where IS Dee anyway?
Mama: she's sleeping in.
Liam: I want her to sleep out.

Carrie at Christmas 2009, on the phone to PaPa, who asked if she'd gotten what she wanted: Except for a guitar. I ordered a guitar...

Liam, age 3.75, trying to say "prickly pear cactus": Prickly hair captus

Liam, age 4, covered in stickers: Sticker-power-boy!

Carrie to Grandmama: Your bum is bigger than Mama's, I'm afraid.

Mama, while in Pepe the Pilot: Let's beep at Mama Rita.
Liam: Are you gonna push the button that says H on your steering wheel?
Mama: Yes, hehe. H for Honda and H for honking...
Liam: and H for beeping.
Mama: Hahahahaha! Nooo, not H for beeping!

Liam: "swee" is the word for when you get a balloon, Mama.

Liam to Mama: You have a scratch.
(Mama explains how she got it)
Liam: Ohh, that's too bad. Let me kiss it. *smooch*
Mama: Thanks! That feels much better!
Liam: Maybe a zerbert (raspberries) will help! *PBBBBBBBBBBBBBT!*
Mama, laughing: Yep, that helped all right!

Carrie to Liam: You're a chunk of cheese!
Liam: No I'm not! That's my Mama!
(I have NO explanation for that one. But I think it's hilarious because Mary Alice once called Dada a hunk of cheese. Genetic, perhaps?)

Liam: Mama, you're the best mama in the whole world. You make my heart super happy. *Mama BEAMS!*

According to Carrie, age 6.5, clocks are either antalog or diginal.

Carrie, age 6.5: My tongue ran into a spice...

Guiseppe, via Facebook: High school is messed up, yeah. But it's such a huge transition from careless youth to responsible adulthood that you have to expect the crucible for the metamorphosis to be a bit of a disaster, lol. (Everyone needs childhood friends like that!)

Liam to Mama: Do not read it. Just word it. (Recite it)

Liam, age 4: I don't have enough fingers to count all the people I love!

Liam: Yay, yay, yay, yay, YAY! Our grownups are coming with us!

Carrie, age 6: I collapsed a new word! (coined a new word)

Liam, age 4, to Mama: Can I sit in your seat and drink your coffee? I want to be a mom.

Dada got new shoelaces and is inserting them into his shoes.
Liam, age 4: Dada! You got tie-ers!

Carrie, age 6.5: Mama, you work at home, so you are a homegirl.

Liam, age 4, and Carrie, age 6.5, are playing with Legos.
Liam: ARGH! I'm going to BEAT you!
Dada, from across the room: That's my job.
Liam, without missing a beat: We could both beat her.

Mama to Dada, talking about how she's easily amused/ a cheap date: Aren't you so glad you married me? It'd have been so much more expensive if I was someone else!

Mama to Carrie: Did you wash your hands after touching the money? *sees Carrie's guilty look* Go wash- people drop money in the street and sneeze on it while counting it. Always wash your hands after touching money.
Mama looks at Dada.
Dada: What, there's no good money laundering going on around here? *both crack up*

Carrie, age 6.5, has been playing the Wii's Mario Kart game for a month, gets flattened in a race.
Mama: WOOOOAAAAH! You got SQUASHED!
Carrie: I know. Apparently you have to watch out for cars.

Mama: "Take me to bed or lose me forever!"
*Big pause*
Dada: Right now!?

That's all, folks. Gotta get some fresh poster board up! Happy Spring! Garden post(s) coming soon...

Quotes from The Best Nest, year 3.5

Thought I'd make everyone's weekend and publish the quote board this morning. Enjoy!

Grandmama: This was a best seller 50 years ago. I thought I'd get caught up.

While talking about our friend Mike Rice, Carrie asks: are there any more food names?
Mama: Oh, probably, but I can't think of them off the top my head.
Carrie: How 'bout off the bottom of your head?

Mama: Happy half birthday to Liam (singing) You're three and a half!
Liam: And you're forty-free!
Mama: I'm THIRTY-three. I'll be 43 when you're 13.
Carrie: I'll be dead by then.
Mama: No you will not! You'll be 15!
Carrie: Your mom will be dead.
Mama: Nuh uh! She'll be an old lady!

Liam, singing: Our God is an awesome God. Erase! (should be "He reigns...")

Mama & Carrie are looking at a Canadian coin.
Mama: Yep, that's a beaver. You were right. And that's Queen Elizabeth the 2nd.
Liam: Ewizabef?
Carrie: What's the beaver's name? Does it say?
Mama: No, it doesn't say.
Carrie: She's a drama queen, isn't she?

Liam: Dada, I pooped!
Dada, checking the evidence: Did you trade places with someone else? Andre the Giant, perhaps?

Liam, before dinner is ready: Oh NO! There's nuffing in my bowl!

Nina: Girls are really smart. Boys are really drool.

Carrie is sleeping diagonally across her bed so she faces the edge of her pillow, because it is her first day of having a loose tooth: I'm sleeping like this so I can put it right under my pillow when it falls out- I hope the Tooth Fairy comes....

Mama, singing "OomPaPa" from Oliver...
Carrie: HEY! That's Harry Poppins! Right? Uh... Mary. Mary Poppins. Oom Pa Pa Oom Pa Pa everyone sews...

While listening to Bennie & The Jets from Elton John:
Mama: *singing* electric boots and a mohair suit...
PaPa: Electric boob?!
Mama: Hahahah could be! *singing again* electric boobs and a mohair suit...
PaPa: Gives a whole new meaning to the word "flashing"!

Heidi: I'm a smart girl!
Dada: You're a smart girl?
Heidi: Yeah, I know how to bake pancakes!

Mama: I'm so glad you're home. You're my balm.
Dada, beaming: I'm da bomb.

Liam: Can you tuck me in, Mama?
Mama: You should ask Dada. He wasn't here last night.
Liam to Dada: Dada, can Mama tuck me in?
Mama: That's so not what I meant...

Grandmama: That's a back hoe!
Liam: No, it's a BIG thing!

Jack & Carrie are playing in a sandbox. Carrie is wearing plastic safety glasses.
Jack's mom, Tiffany, calls out to Jack: Don't throw sand.
Carrie: It's okay. I have my safety goggles on.

Liam: We already HAVE coughs, PaPa. We don't want hiccups.

Liam: Can I have some more ghost cheese, please? (goat cheese)

Liam: I need the pushpins! (corn cob holders)

Liam: My springy fingy! (Slinky)

While reading books, Mama attempts to make a point.
Liam, admonishing: Mama! Why did you poke me for your elbow?!

*This one was pre-released, but I promised to post it when the quote board was full*
Carrie: I wish I was a boy.
Liam: I wish I was a girl.
Mama to Liam: Why? Do you want to wear dresses?
Liam: No.
Mama: Do you want to wear tights?
Liam: No.
Carrie: If you were a girl, you couldn't play with your penis. You wouldn't have one. It would be gone.
Liam: My penis would be gone?!
Mama has to leave the room.

Mama, jammin' with her coffee to the Derek Trucks Band: Nothin' like a little jazz in the morning with your yogurt and granola...
Dada raises his glass of ice water.
Mama extracts a Triskal-hair from her mouth: and doghair.
Dada: Cheers to the short and curlies.

Carrie, whining: When!? I've been patient enough!
Dada, smirking: When?

Carrie: Dave Rhino and Mr. Manoj...
Dada: Dave Rhino- he's evolving! Used to be Dave Yano!

Liam: They're not Wheat Thins. They're Ethans.

"Wut can I do to hlp b sids ben cwiit" (What can I do to help besides being quiet? -Carrie, 6)

*tap tap tap* on the sliding glass door
Dada opens to a crying Liam.
Dada: yes?
Liam: the doggie took my bat.
Dada: *pause* did you try to hit him with it?
Liam: yuh.yuh.yuh.yeeeessssss.
(wish I could draw a picture on here... imagine chewed up, blue, plastic baseball bat. Insert here)

Carrie gives Bill H. (a grandfather we know) a rock.
Carrie: Let's play the flute & bicycle game. Give me that flute.
Bill: What's the rock for?
Carrie: Never mind. Put it on the table.
Bill: Well, the tire is flat on this bike.
Carrie: Well, you're too big for that bike!

BUM TAG! HAHHAHAHahahahahahahah

Dada: Timex, takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'...

July 3, 2009
Carrie: are we going anywhere tonight?
Mama: I dunno. Where would you like to go?
Carrie: ummmmmm. Bob Evans?

Grandmama: I LIKE beans. They are great neighbors.

Liam: are we getting cheese pizza with spots on it? (pepperoni)

Liam: Here ya go, Mom. A flower for ya. <3 <3 <3

Mama, reading: "Don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden." Where are they NOT supposed to go?
Carrie: The garden. IIII wouldn't if I was a rabbit. I'd get killed. In the pie.

Carrie, after seeing Mama in her nightgown, turns to Dada: Your WOMAN is BEAUTIFUL!

Liam, scurrying upstairs from the TV in the basement: I just came up to kiss you.
Mama, basking: Ohh, how sweet! I love your love, kisses, and snuggles... *bask bask*
Liam: I came up to eat, too.

Scottio, of the long, flowing locks!

FRST WE WILL MAC A THAP FUR MOM *insert angry face here*
(First, we will make a trap for mom. Carrie, 6)

And finally, we have posted a Baby Blues comic strip on the top of the quoteboard. It has two frames. The first says, "When you say:" and the Dad is pointing to his watch yelling, "Let's go! We're late!" The second says, "They must hear:" the Dad saying, "Everybody move in slow motion!" as the kids drag themselves, slouching, across the floor to him.

Happy Labor Day Weekend, everyone! =)

Mysteries

These have already made it onto the quote board, so they will be duplicated here down the road. However, they are too good to make you wait for them.

Fresh from this morning:

We were discussing how today Liam turns 3 and a half. I sang, "Happy half birthday to Liam" and explained how he was the same age as Nina.
Liam: You're forty-free.
Mama: I'm thirty-three. I'll be 43 when you're 13.
Carrie: I'll be dead by then.
Mama: No you will not! You'll be 15!
Carrie: Your mom will be dead.
Mama: Nuh uh. She WILL be an old lady. (thinking, "I better hush up right now...")

And aunt Lisa's already heard this one. Disclaimer for those of you who are more socially polite and discreet than the rest of us: you probably won't find this as hilarious as the rest of us!

At the dinner table two nights ago:

Liam: I wish I was a girl.
Carrie: I wish I was a boy.
(You can tell this is a recurring discussion around here, because I skip her comment to focus on his, which I haven't heard many, many times before.)
Mama: Why? Do you want to wear dresses?
Liam: No.
Mama: Do you want to wear tights?
Liam: No.
Carrie: If you were a girl, you wouldn't be able to play with your penis. You wouldn't have one. It would be gone.
Liam: My penis would be gone? (said in a wondering "what in the world would have happened to it" kind of voice, not a "ye gods what would have happened to it!?" kind of voice.)

I had to leave the room. I grabbed a marker and headed for the quote board and the next thing I heard was from Carrie; "Mama, why do you have your head on the wall? What are you writing?"