Clearly we need a geography AND a history intervention...

Carrie, age 13.95: Fort Sumter is a 2.4 acre manmade island off the coast of ... uh... Colorado... (kitchen table erupts with protestations)... no, waitaminute... HAHAHAHAHA!

Yeeeeeegods.Yet the powers that be think it's a good idea to let these hooligans out of school before Memorial Day. #backtoschool, #kidsthesedays