Not a sympathy pitch, I swear!

 I had the most Monday-est Monday I can ever recall having yesterday. What was to be a normal, run of the mill checkup with my oncologist turned into a day of much more excitement that I had anticipated.

The short version is that everything is fine. My blood counts were all "perfect." Nothing to see here, folks, move along.

The unabridged version is a bit more graphic involving bodily fluids and sharp, pointy objects. You may choose to stop reading here and rest assured that I'm fine. (*cough* Hinrew, ahem.)

Still curious? As they say on the Knight Bus in Harry Potter, "it's gonna be a bumpy ride!"

I drove myself to my doctor's office and sat down to have my blood drawn. I knew this was coming; they do this first so they can run the numbers so that the doc will have them to go over with you before you leave. I'd already drank at least 32 ounces of water and a mug and a half of tea before I arrived for my 10:30 appointment. I'd also had a lot of water the night before as I'd ridden my bike for about 15 minutes and drank a good bit of water before bed. 

Well, the nurse tried to stick me the first time and said my vein blew. It happens. I know this. (When I was delivering Damon they tried at least 4 and maybe 5 different places to get an IV going. It may have been more. I lost count as I was a little distracted by contractions.)  She apologized and tried again. She got it that time and got the blood she needed. However, sometime during that draw, I told her I was getting a little sparkly and was going to put my head back against the wall. I did that and apparently passed right out anyway. I remember dreaming vividly and then woke up with one of the guys who works there propping my feet up against his legs and my nurse was holding my hand. I may have even wet myself at this point. Either way, I passed out again and this time I for sure peed my pants AND vomited AND the nurse told me when I woke up that I had also seized. This has never happened to me before. I somehow managed to not swallow or vomit my gum, which was a lifesaver afterwards. Yech. They said I was out 15-20 seconds and that I was alert as soon as I came to. I do remember dreaming again the second time, as well. 

I begin, naturally, with apologizing. The nurses are so darling. They brought me fresh pants and helped me change and kept their eagles' eyes on me while I waited for poor Dada to come collect me and my things and take me to the hospital for further evaluation, leaving one car behind. I cannot state enough how much I despise making more work for people, and the fact that they had to mop and change and all that drives me crazy, even though my nurse said her second pair of pants for the day was much more comfy than her first. I know it's an occupational hazard and that it won't be the first or last time they have to experience it, but goodness, I still hate that they had to go through it. Guess everyone needs a little excitement on a Monday, right? Ugh. Insert many, many eye rolls here.

So off to the hospital I go with my knight in shining armor. We get all checked in, I pee in a cup, I tell my story and he fills in details and then they want to get more blood and an IV in for fluids. The sweet nurse examines my arm for a few minutes and decides to attempt a stick in the back of my left hand. That vein blew. Rather than stick me again, she asks around for who on duty knows how to do an ultrasound IV, which was new to me. Lo and behold a guy who spent 8 years in the Marines comes in with his cart and listens to my story and confidently informs me that he'll find a "big, honkin' vein" and go from there. I tell him that they're not cooperating well today and he says we'll make it behave. So he scrolls his ultrasound around and decides on the inner side of my left bicep. I thought it would hurt more, so I asked, "is it in already?" and he sounded a little less confident when he answered, "not quite yet." It did hurt a little more but he did get it in and then he taped the bejeezus out of it so it wouldn't go anywhere. During the sticking and for a few minutes afterward, my heart rate plummeted to 39. Dada said I was in the red there for awhile. My sweet nurse came back in and said, "I figured by the numbers he was trying to stick you. Poor thing, you really don't like getting poked, do you?" She tilted my bed so that my head was lower than my feet for awhile. They're all so good at this game. 

They got their blood and a bag of fluids going. It's been awhile since chemo, so I'd forgotten how cold you can get when room temperature or chilled bags of fluid are entering you. I was shivering and sweet Dada asked for a blanket for me. I had an EKG where they stick 10 stickers all over you and the plugs go to the stickers and then, in a blink of an eye, it's over and she's unplugging me and unstickerizing me as I tell her that Damon likes to slyly sneak stickers from bananas onto my back as he hugs me.

They also wanted a chest Xray and a head CT so a radiology tech wheeled me through the maze of halls as we chatted about does she get her 10,000 recommended steps and she says most days, but it depends on the day. I sadly informed her that I probably wouldn't be getting mine that day.

Everything looked good there, so back to my ER room and they did one of those blood pressure tests where you're laying down, then sitting, then standing, and all those numbers corresponded within where they should be. 

The doctor came in and listened to my story, especially my concern that while I've passed out because of needles before, I'd never peed or vomited or seized. He reassured me that any of those things can happen when someone is unconscious, including defectating, which I'm thanking my lucky stars was something I can leave out of the mix, and he says that it might not have been a seizure, per say. He wanted me to schedule an EEG just to make sure epilepsy can be ruled out. Great. Another first for me. And a follow up appointment with a neurologist. Yay, yet another first! He said that all the tests looked good and showed no areas of concern and suggested that maybe it was just low volume of my blood and he told me to hydrate. That part still doesn't make sense to me as I specifically drank extra ahead of time knowing I'd be getting stuck. Oh well.

This afternoon is my follow up appointment with my family doctor who was kept in the loop and next Monday I meet with the neurologist. 

So, the point of all that is to tell you two things: one, I am fine, and two, if you ever feel like you're having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day like Alexander, ask yourself if you've peed yourself and vomited and played pincushion all in the same morning. I'm thinking of changing all my social media account user names to Not I, Cacti! #NotICacti has a nice ring to it.

I'm fortunate that my mental health is at a place where I could come home, have a good cry in the shower as I peeled off all the bandaids from the sticks, and realize that yes, while it certainly ranked up there as the most craptastic day I've had in a very long time, it was just a day and they'll look better going forward. I had my man by my side, excellent and caring medical professionals all day long, the kids here at home were already in their groove of online learning so (at least theoretically) they didn't need me every minute, and all results were positive. Overall, blessed beyond measure. So I had to wash a load of clothes- that happens just about every day anyway. 

The biggest inconvenience, and it is just that, is that I'm not supposed to drive until after the EEG just so they're sure I'm not epileptic. That makes things a little more difficult but also isn't earth shattering or long lasting. Another inconvenience will be that I have three extra appointments versus the one I'd have had yesterday if everything had gone as expected. I should have remembered- it's 2020; why would anything go as expected? I'm winking, you just can't see me.

The perk of seeing my doc today is that I can hopefully also get my flu shot, haha! Win! Always a silver lining. 

Why must Wednesdays masquerade as Mondays?

So here we are, officially day 3 of summer vacation. Let me give you a brief glimpse of what I can see from my spot at the kitchen table.

Damon is facing backwards onto the back of our rocking armchair. He's spying on a bunny in the front yard who is happily nibbling away at the grass Carrie mowed last night.  I'm hoping Damon doesn't rock himself right out the window. He's also keeping an eye out for the garbage and recycling trucks patrolling the neighborhood. He looks like he wants to be sleeping by the way he's rocking, but I don't know what time he got up this morning.....

Liam is poking his way through his cinnamon toast crunch. He claims he has no idea what time they got up because he didn't look at the clock. He could very possibly be at the table all morning as he's playing with the plastic gemstone ring he picked out at Carrie's orthodontist appointment. It's flaming pink.

Carrie appeared briefly to announce that, "Triskal peed on the floor" and "itreallysmellsBAD", then had her rice crispies and skittered back down to the basement. Pretty sure she's got her computer down there and that she's trying to escape the smell. Naturally we've had the first real rain for awhile, and everything is damp, and the wind is blowing straight in the front windows across the wet spot and into the rest of the house. Blech.

What's that saying about life is what happens when you're making other plans? That's been us so far, haha.

Monday morning at 9 we were supposed to meet up with friends to go strawberry picking. Our fearless leader called as we were minutes away (because I'd actually already driven past it and didn't see the sign) to say that she WAS there already and there was nobody else. She found a worker and inquired where everyone was and was informed, "oh, the strawberries aren't ready yet." Yeah? Woulda been nice to have that information on your website. "Sorry." Bah.

So we went to a playground, since it was 9 AM and we were up, breakfasted, and dressed. Then we hit the 577 Foundation where we checked out their biodome and book room and outdoor musical instruments, etc. Definitely taking PaPa the next time he comes to visit.

Yesterday brought karate for the big kids while Damon and I hit the credit union (well, tranferred money not broke into) and the nursery to replenish our sunflower and thistle seed supply, Carrie's orthodontist appointment in which they placed spacers between her teeth to make room for the impending braces, and then a library trip all before lunch.

This morning brought dog pee in the living room. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I know we're cleaning this pigsty today since the floor looks like someone spread confetti made out of tissues, dead leaves, school papers, colored pencils, library books, a marble, and a plastic Easter egg. And that's just in the 3 foot radius that I'll encounter once I step down off my chair.

Tonight we'll be heading out with our favorite realtor to view two houses. Before you start panicking, we're just looking. These places we'll see tonight have land, which Dada says  "they're not making any more of", so we like to look into possibilites for the future. I do find it incredibly funny that we just heard a wonderful, sensible, thoughtful talk about money by Rick Warren this past weekend, including how you should make it work for you instead of the other way around and how money is a test to see if you'll be faithful in small things......... and then we go house hunting, which is practically the most expensive thing you could do. Ha!

I have to say that I've really been enjoying the birds this spring, perhaps more than any spring previous. This winter was so dreadful, blah blah blah, *insert tirade here*, that the colors and happy chirps are so very welcome. I like to hear the goldfinches and their squeaky-hinge calls and the more clockwork noises of the starlings (even though they're funny looking and I'm not particularly fond of them) and the incessant chatter of the sparrows. We've had white crowned sparrows show up this spring, which were new to us, but I haven't seen them in the last two weeks. I've heard the pair of cardinals who hang out in our neighborhood, and saw Mama cardinal a few days ago, and the kids have been laughing at the stupid mourning doves and robins strolling down the driveways instead of flying. I had a dove run up the driveway in front of our car and dash into the bushes and THEN explode upwards in a flurry of feathers after we'd already passed him. We've seen lots of soaring-around birds, but haven't found any being-still-so-you-can't-see-me watching birds for days. Today they'd be skulking around in damp, frizzed out feathers. I wonder if humidity affects feathers the way it does hair. I look like Merida from Brave.

My coffee mug is down to the dregs, which means, as Carrie giggles to me, "my coconut is empty." If you have no idea what that means, get a copy of "Father Goose" from your library and enjoy classic Cary Grant and Leslie Caron. One of my all time favorites.

PS Got a letter from Uncle Rob at boot camp- all's well and he's hanging in there! He's wishing for care packages of homemade chocolate ice cream and would be willing to do pushups until his arms fell off for it.