Fat Tuesday

{Incidentally, I love how Skulduggery Pleasant is peeking out between the scissors like he's up to something.}

Thing One took me to chemo #9 yesterday and we celebrated Fat Tuesday by getting FAT. We went to Olive Garden afterwards, ordered lasagna and unlimited soup and salad, and let's just say...

Do you remember what it looks like when Cookie Monster devours food? That was me. I practially inhaled my first bowl of chicken gnocchi soup and my first plate of salad. Then I polished off Thing One's unfinished soup and had another plate of salad whilst somebody dug through lasagna and snarfed down breadsticks. Our excellent and patient waiter then brought me a bowl of the Zuppa Toscana with Italian sausage, potatoes, and kale.

Kale.

Now, I LOVE lettuce. But kale is a different level for me. So I tried a spoonful. And then I tried a spoonful with kale in it. And THEN I inhaled the rest of the bowl, like my body had just discovered raw materials for the first time. I would have had a vat of it if I wasn't already so full. It was amazing! I've even hunted down a copycat recipe! 

Nobody is more shocked than I am.

Our waiter, pleased, asked if we'd like dessert, which was a no-brainer as they'd left the photo of the Black Tie Chocolate Cake on the table the entire time. We split it and then just about split our pants. So. Full. Of. Deliciousness.

We came home with lasagna, breadsticks, and a small bit of salad. Definitely fatter. #WeDidItRight

Glad my weigh in on the rhino scale was BEFORE lunch...

 

Statute of Limitations

So the other morning I notice that Care Bear's bangs are more raggedy looking than usual. I lean in for a closer inspection, and yep, sure enough:

Did you cut your hair?

I didn't do it today!

But did you cut your hair?

I didn't DO it today!

But did you CUT your HAIR?

Not today!

Carrie, did you cut it?

YES, but not TODAY! *starts crying*

Why are you crying? I'm not crying. I'm not yelling. I'm calm. Why are you freaking out?

Because it's not FAIR! I didn't even do it TODAY and I'm getting consequences!

...


I repeat the conversation (and inflections) to Dada, who cracks up and comments, "like there's a statute of limitations on consequences. 'I didn't do it todaaaaaaaay, why am I getting connnnsequences?!'"

Indeed. Off we go to Great Clips, once again. Can I confiscate her scissors? For life?

SIA or Scissors In Action

This kid apparently never learns. Rarely do I post kid info on both here and Facebook since so many of you are on both that I don't want to overdo it, but I am today. Apologies to all.

MY CHILD CUT HER EYELASHES OFF WITH SCISSORS. Did you hear that? No, not me yelling in the capital letters. The collective intake of breath from every single mother reading this who had this following thought: ohmystarsthatissodangerouswhatwasshethinking?!?!?!??!

Yeah. I dunno either. Scissors have been confiscated, both pairs. It has yet to be determined for how long.

Can I quit? How about now?

Christmas Contenders

In this corner, a 30 some pound 4 year old human female. With scissors.

In this corner, a 100 pound 2 year old female Newfoundland.

Who will win?

I can answer this question. Said females are closed into a large kennel together, unsupervised. (What can I say, it was break time and we were all having naps. Apparently, we were not ALL having naps...) The aforementioned Newfoundland apparently lays there, as good as gold, as the aforementioned human child proceeds to dispatch her of her whiskers, the end of her tail fur, some of the fur on her head, ear, and shoulder. We didn't see any blood, but poor Triskal is going to be slightly drafty on her left side. She might need a good buzzing come spring just to even everything out!

The moral of the story is to never, ever assume that just because human children are allowed to use scissors at preschool that getting another pair for home use would be a good idea! The scissors have been confiscated for 4 days, since the human child is four.

Dada and I came down from break to see a pile of hair all over the living room floor. Noticing that Triskal had indeed not spontaneously combusted, Dada asked Carrie if she'd cut Triskal's hair with scissors. We were told at least 4 times, "no, Dada." When Triskal came out of the kennel and had obvious hack marks all over her, the truth came out. "Yes, Dada." So Carrie is cleaning up all the hair, inside kennel and out, and has her scissors MIA for 4 days. Oyyyy vey. Glad we can bring you all some Christmas cheer!

Mama: 0, Carrie: 1

On a positive note, said scissors were a big hit. The kids got markers, coloring books, headbands, barrettes and underwear for her, Nerf balls for him, lots of books and cars and fun small things. Pa Pa will be coming for New Year's, so we're looking forward to having him. It was great to have Grandmama out here last weekend. Dada and I even had a much needed overnight getaway!

Have a very merry rest of Christmas day and we hope your day is a little less eventful than ours!