Recent Liamisms

 I braided Liam's hair the other day and a few minutes later he mentioned his ears were cold. I mused, "hmm, you need a ..." and mimed a headband over my ears. I realized I had a hat from the days when I used to have a ponytail to stick through it, so I dug it out and tossed it to him. With glee, his braid popped through and he declared, "this is my hat now!"

***

As I reminded Liam that when one puts the dogs away for the night one also needs to lock the back door, he quips, "Everything was okay, right? We're in the middle of the woods. Nobody is going to come here." 

I wasn't really expecting any repartee as I thought I was just imparting information, so I stumbled along with a "you don't want the fairies to come and steal you away."

Bewildered, he replies, "What kind of advantage would that give them?"

***

We have fruit flies, again, this time because of the tomatoes from the garden, not bananas. And Liam has bean seeds sprouting for his science class; he's supposed to be experimenting with overcrowding (ahem, just look outside at the garden and don't do that) and he said a cloud of them emerged when he watered the seeds this morning, much to his disgust.

The other day I overheard, "DIE! *whack* DIE! *crash* DIE! *slam*" This pattern repeated about nine times, along with various mutterings. I called in, "okay, Coach Hedge," which is a Percy Jackson reference to a satyr who thinks he's invincible. 

Liam exclaims, "Jeez! That was the Buggernaut! *whack* HahahahaHAAAAA, two down!"

As if any of you are wondering why we can't have nice things...

***

Dada and I snuck out for a coffee date earlier this week and then ran an errand or two. I told him I hadn't left a note for Liam saying where we were headed. When we pulled back into the driveway, Liam was strolling out, in his pajamas and bathrobe as usual. He opened my car door, leaned in, and quoted, "Beds empty, car gone, no note!" We both completely cracked up as that's one of our favorite Harry Potter quotes when Molly Weasley goes off on her sons. Not only did he have it fresh in his head to say, he had written it on post it notes and stuck them to the front door. This kid is a piece of work. Pretty fond of him. You can't have him, fairies, he's ours.

A disturbing trend

 No, rest easy; I'm not beginning a post about politics. I'd not poke that bear. You're welcome to peruse the news to regulate or elevate your blood pressure at your own discretion and under whatever orders you have from your doctor. Mine is a very first world complaint about something insidious and persistent and irritating.

The dreaded fruit fly.

I don't know if it's just us or if the rest of y'all have been accosted by fruit flies. I'm pretty sure it was regular flies in the Biblical plagues, and I'm trying to decide if that would be worse. Harder for regular sized flies to zoom up your nose, I suppose.

At any rate, I had a fruit fly the other morning that I'd whacked multiple times and it just Would. Not. Die. I guess I was getting a little aggressive because even Liam noticed. What I mean by that is that Liam is, shall we say, a slow moving vehicle at the best of times but maaaaybe achieves Turtle Speed One first thing in the morning. Add to that the fact that he had earbuds in to tune out the signals both natural and mom-made that he should be functioning in a higher gear than one uses while sleeping. 

He looked up in alarm when I repeatedly smashed my tiny foe into the table. 

"What's going on?!"

"This stupid bug will. not. die. DIE!"

*smash whack squish*

"HaHA! I got him! Finally."

Liam, smirking, quipped, "wow. That must have been the buggernaut."

And there you have it, folks. Yet another brilliant word coined by Liam the Lionhearted. You heard it here first. May the odds be ever in your favor as you face down your own buggernauts. Go forth and conquer!