All I need now is a torpedo

 The radiation consult went... well? Hard to say when we still have so many questions. I need to set up a second opinion/pick your brain session with my local doc here who did my photon radiation the first time around. 

I was impressed with both the research student and Dr J. They were upfront about there being very little longitudinal data because proton therapy, which they are recommending, is a newer technique. They've been doing it for awhile at their location but just opened it up a few months ago to breast cancer patients, so I'd be part of something... new? Fresh? Exciting? Terrifying? 

"All of it, Frank." (That's from "Father Goose", another childhood favorite which stars Cary Grant and Leslie Caron and comes highly recommended! We use a TON of the lines from that one on a regular basis.)

As my charming husband likes to remind me on every possible occasion, I was four chapters behind in my college physics class my freshman year when he visited. Therefore, I'm probably not the ideal person to spell this out, but if I have the general gist of the science, then photon therapy (that I had the first time) is essentially the same dose over designated area. I had 33 sessions, once per day, of that over several weeks. 

I claim ZERO understanding as to how a photon torpedo works, which is what I keep hearing in my head thanks to years of my mother watching "Star Trek"...

Proton therapy, I guess, targets more specifically and then the energy drops off more quickly, in theory sparing some damage. That's a good thing because what is under where they're targeting? Oh you know, my heart and my lungs. No big. 😏Again, I THINK I have that right. They can focus it like a mountain versus a plateau. Yeah, let's go with that. All I need to do now is write "Radiation for Dummies", hehe.

Dr. J recommends the proton therapy this time over photon therapy and that would be twice a day with at least a six hour window between sessions because in that window healthy cells can repair themselves but cancer cells can't. I think that is fascinating! How cool is that? Because it would be twice a day, I'd be done in about 3 work weeks. 

"But I thought... but we'd been told multiple times that you can't re-radiate an area that had already been radiated. Won't that damage the bypass surgery that I just had? Will insurance cover any of this? Why is one better than the other? Would either work? Why do you recommend one over the other? What SHOULD we be asking that we don't know to ask? Argh, why isn't there statistical data yet?" 

Those questions and more swirled around the room as we chatted. Dr. J seemed very knowledgeable and earnest and asked great questions. It sounds like he was on the tumor board so he's already heard of and talked over my case. As always, I marveled at how I felt seen as myself and not simply a patient number on a file somewhere. Truly these medical professionals have callings and not just occupations. I'm so thankful for their passion as well as their compassion. I also appreciated his earnestness. 

I'll keep you posted but that's really all I know right now. No studies to really compare, so until I talk with my local rads doc, we'll just bounce that beach ball of photon versus proton around... *doink doink doink*

Not quite what I was going for

 Okay folks, the results are in! Boy, this free therapy really IS nice because they weren't quite what we were hoping for, even though they're not bad in and of themselves. Here goes.

The PET scan results lit up where we expected them to in my right auxilla (fancy word for my side around my armpit area) but it showed two additional spots as well. One in (or on, I dunno how that all works, really) my thoracic spine #10 and one in my abdominal adrenals. Does that mean there's more than one there? No idea. According to Google, those sit just above your kidneys, and the thoracic #10 is also in the middle of my back.

She asked if I'd had a back injury. Can't claim that. I feel like I do have arthritis in my lower back. She said, "no, the thoracic #10 is right in the middle of your back." Hmmm. Now I'm wondering what all shows up on PET scans because the internet's vague "areas of high metabolism" don't mean much to me! 

I guess it looks like something fishy is happening in the neighborhood and now I need more MRIs. Apparently they don't do spinal and abdominal ones at the same time- fabulous- so that means two more times to go carry on with the radiology imaging team, whoohooo!

My main thought keeps coming back to "there was nothing in my blood work to show reason for concern." In my superior layman's thinking (haha) that means that either we caught all of this really early before it affected my blood work or it could be something benign like a cyst or cysts that just show up and hang out and don't do much. We do have a family history of abdominal cysts, my mother reminded me, which I'd either forgotten or not known. 

Now we know a little more as in areas to more thoroughly inspect. Information and knowledge are power, right? 

I must confess to a pounding heart while I was madly scribbling everything I was being told over the phone. Since it's all in the middle of me, that means I'll probably be enclosed for the next two MRIs. I've been okay before, but honestly the more tests they schedule the more needles are involved the more anxious I get. I may need sedated for these ones, which is no big other than I wouldn't be allowed to drive myself home afterwards, which is NOT a big deal as I doubt anyone (ahem, Dada) will let me go alone anyway. As I said, I'm in good hands. And the needle will be going in regardless so maybe a sedative isn't a bad idea. Pray for peace. And really juicy veins. Plump, juicy, very full veins!

Y'all should be thanking my Mommee

It's not that I forget you guys or that I don't enjoy blogging. 

It's just that it is the end of the school year so there's the usual field trips, projects, permission slips, reading logs, safety patrol training for next year, dentist appointments, how-do-these-people-make-so-much-mess, where-did-this-laundry-come-from-because-I-JUST-did-it, when-will-it-stop-raining, and when will it be summertime already happening.

And did I mention karate, karate, karate? Just checking.

So anyway, I get a text from my mother which ends with, "blog withdrawal" to which I fire back a text proclaiming indignantly that I've been out of town twice a day every day this week! 

Bah. The bad part about blogging is that you have to sit down to do it and that means I can't also be washing dishes or attempting to clean the counter (a never ending and losing battle if ever there was one) or doing any of the other myriad of aforementioned tasks/issues/messes.

So I procrastinate and then really get frustrated by how behind I am once I sit down to organize everything. I want to cry when I see how many pictures have been uploaded and need cropped, explained, etc.

But hey, it's free therapy and my fans are waiting, so away we go!

These were taken this morning lest I forget next week when it actually is mid month. Plus, if the Weather Channel knows anything, it'll be monsooning all of next week anyway...

These guys are growing like weeds in high summer. Damon's whole hand takes up my whole hand these days. He used to be so little. 

The phlox is past its prime, but it is still gorgeous and it makes me smile every time I look out front. 

Our sweet neighbors on the other side of this hedge have a pond. Now we all have a moat.

And since life is always interesting, while Dada was cleaning out the gutters last weekend he discovered that not everything is washing from the roof into the drainpipes and then on into the creek to drain the way things are supposed to. Instead, water is ending up here:

Yes, that would be in the middle of the backyard. Think the swampy part of Camp Lambec's field, down by the chapel.

That's the creek where it is all supposed to go. That's the snail and crayfish and frog and turtle creek. The Carrie creek. I suppose we really should find out what it's official name is one of these days.

The apple trees are mostly blossomless now, but the petals that are strewn everywhere sure smell good!

Some smart birdie built a nest in the hole of the shed's back wall, facing the creek. It'd be my prime pick of a spot, too, with the field across the creek to watch and the shed between my nest and the noisy kids and dog, taking full advantage of the roof's overhang. 

We have some not-too-bright but very determined robins who have rebuilt a nest on top of one of our floodlights, up high, after Dada got it all cleaned off once already. The previous owners came to check out the drainage in the yard and commented that the robins did it every single year. Must like warm, toasty eggs...

It's going to be too wet to mow for the rest of forever, so I'll just sit back and enjoy the foliage.