Check in

 Sorry for the radio silence. The weather finally broke from the awful cold and tons of snow, so I've been sneaking in time outside in the fresh air as often as possible. We've gone on a few walks, I picked up some winter-downed sticks and even cleaned up some of every dog owner's nightmare when the snow finally melts.

I've also worn my compression sleeve faithfully daily for months to little avail. My right arm is swollen and feels almost solid and when you press on it, you leave imprints. The next post is all about the next steps there, so I won't belabor the subject. It's tight clear up into my neck and I'm not seeing much relief despite all the various exercises I've been given to do. It is what it is right now.

School is going well. These are the first Olympics our three-, four- and five year olds have experienced, so we've been having a ton of fun adapting the Games for these young kids: 

-We used wheeled, square scooters with nap time mats folded on top of them for bobsleds. One kid would sit in the middle while a partner kid would push them across the gym.  

-They stood each foot on a paper plate and skidded around the gym as speed skaters.

-We stood gymnastics mats on edge to make huge hockey goals, gave the kids pool noodles and a ball, and they played hockey. 

-They stuffed red, yellow, and orange tissue paper into toilet paper rolls as their Olympic torches, and with torch in one hand and a small American flag in the other, toured the school while the bigger students chanted, "USA! USA! USA!" to our preschoolers' great delight for Opening Ceremonies.

It's been a ball. What a great activity for the dead of winter. Thank you so much, Olympians, for all your hard work and sheer grit and, if I'm honest, the complete insanity of some of your sports!

Quick update

 

Quick update before we head to the last high school home football game of the season:

Port surgery went fine. It was under the estimated 45 minutes, no issues, not terribly sore, haven't seen it yet cuz it's under a dressing, though it is all set and ready for use next week. Only snag seems to be the usual adhesive reaction... I have three spots where they put leads on my chest for my vitals and they are all clearly outlined in rash. Itchy, itchy Ichabod, i i i... That's my scar from my previous port!

Follow up appointments yesterday both went well also. My plastics doc was pleased with the scar, took some pictures, and said he will see me at the 3 month mark. 

Physical therapy was a workout; I can see why people are worn out afterwards. She was really pleased with my range of motion, so that was very encouraging. She said I qualify for the "advanced" version of exercises, haha, so she sent me home with a packet to work through and she will also see me again at the 3 month mark. 

Chemo starts next week and I've decided to take some googly eyes with me to stick on the IV bag. I also plan to wear my orange and black striped witchy socks since it'll be the week of Halloween. And I have snacks and my bestie Lisa and things to keep us both occupied and out of trouble for the multiple hours we will be there. Apparently this set takes around 3 hours and I have both a blood draw (through my port, yippie!) and an office visit with my oncologist before the chemo starts. Add in a bag of anti-nausea meds in addition to both bags of chemo and probably a bag of saline to keep me flushing and I'll be floating away in no time! Interestingly and unfortunately, there is an IV fluids shortage because the factory was in Asheville, NC! 

I'll keep you posted. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Intentioned snips and random snippets

The irony was not lost on me as I meandered through Walmart hunting front-closure bras for after a double mastectomy. I kept giggling wryly to Dada about needing bras for when I wouldn't have any boobs! Something's gotta hold all those bandages together before you can put clothes over them. How crazy life is.

                                     *****

Maybe breast cancer was one of God's ways to get an outlet to those of you whose love language is Gifts. Holy smokes, I continue to be blown away at the gifts that arrive. Currently I have three bouquets of sunny, cheerful flowers spread through the downstairs. Two friends made dinner for last night on top of an already stuffed fridge and freezer. My stack of cards overfloweth. My phone has been blowing up with texts...

I have three containers of chocolate chip cookies! If that isn't love for this Cookie Monster, I dunno what is. I am humbled by all of you and the ways that you care!

                                    *****

Tuesday was my follow up appointment with my surgeon. He asked me how I felt I was doing and looked, at least to me, pretty surprised when I chirped, "good!" I confessed that I hadn't believed him when he'd informed me that a bilateral mastectomy would hurt less than something done laparoscopically, but he'd been right. Everything I'd heard and read told me to "stay ahead of the pain" so I followed directions and took pain meds alternating with Advil accordingly. For four days. And then I didn't take anything at all. Because nothing hurt! Some friends are saying I have a high pain tolerance, which could be true, I suppose. Every body is different. I have no idea how that could be measured. What still strikes me as funny is that the sensation I feel most is the prickles that are just like when your breastmilk lets down. I have areas of mostly numbness, but the feelings that I do feel cracks me up. There's nothing to let down to anywhere else! 

Anyway. 

He looked over my recorded drain fluid numbers and decided the drains could come out. WOOHOO! For those of you who have never had a surgical drain, let me tell you what they do and why it's good fabulous to get them out. Fluid can build up after surgery and has no place to go without help. My cancer books said essentially "think 'turkey baster'", which didn't give me the correct mental picture, so I'll offer a little better version. Think 'small, turkey baster with tubes that get sutured into your body and dangle loosely in an attempt to be yanked at every opportunity" because that is closer to what they feel like. So you have these tubes coming out of you like the Borg and if you're smart, you take the advice about the $1.50 Lowe's nail apron and snuggle your drains down into the pockets. The nail apron also had long enough ties that I could cross them behind my back and tie a tiny bow in front of me, which made sleeping that much nicer as I didn't have to channel Samwise Gamgee: no matter how I lay there's a dirty great root sticking into my back...

A sweet person I met online even made a beautiful apron for my drains which she then mailed to me. I got to wear it for a full 24 hours before my drains came out. You guys, there is no end to the creativity and thoughtfulness out there. A total stranger made me something lovely to make something important and yet unpleasant somehow better. Find your Cranny of Creativity and use that as your ministry to others. I already said some of you are so good with the gifts. Some of you are amazing with the foods. Most of you are brilliant at texts. All of you are capable of great love even in tiny but not overlooked or under appreciated ways!

Stepping off my soapbox. So you live in dread of accidentally getting a drain hooked on something or reaching "wrong" and pulling these suckers out, right? 

Well.

Chalk this up under Things I Should Have Figured Out Had I Really Thought About Them: since those babies are sutured into you, that means there's some snipping involved in releasing them so that they can then be pulled out. My sweet surgeon did mutter something to himself about "that's in there tighter than I intended" whilst working on my right side, followed by a moment of sharpish digging. Then he looked at me and intoned, "now, these drains are a little wider on the inside than they are on the part where you see them, so ..." and I forget the rest of what he said because my brain was processing it and got as far as, "DUH, you dummy (meaning me, not him)" and then "so I guess I didn't need to worry about accidentally yanking them out" and "wait, that means it is going to hurt" all pretty much at the same time. I think I asked if I should take a deep breath (that's what they have me do as they access my port during IV treatments) and I'm fairly certain he said, "whatever works." So I suck in a big breath as he counts to three and what follows truly didn't hurt so much as feel weird, but the sound was exactly like sucking up the bottom of a milkshake with a straw. Sorry to those of you reading this in a public place if that made you laugh out loud and people are looking at you oddly. 

He heads over to do the left side and I frantically let Dada know I could use some cold, wet paper towels on the back of my neck STAT. Not so much the pull or the sound, but definitely the snippage. Is that a word? It is now. My stomach rumbled uncertainly and I felt like someone had cranked up the thermostat. The surgeon looked at me with his eyebrows up, I looked back from under one of my damp paper towels (because Dada is good at this game and I had one on my forehead, too), squeaked "good to go", breathed in, he pulled, and out came the second one. 

He gave me a few minutes to lie there with my knees up as he taped gauze over my drain-free holes which will seal themselves shut- all of this is so amazing to me- and asked if I was okay to sit up. I was, so I did, he said to keep doing what we were doing as everything looked like it was healing really well, and then he said that if I experienced any fluid buildup it would have that waterbed feeling. They can take care of that right there in the office via a needle inserted through my incision(s) which is/are numb anyway and suction whatever fluid out. Sorry, Daddeeeeee and anyone else who would have appreciated less is more...

He said to give it a few days for the drain holes to heal up before starting my stretching exercises which are apparently remarkably similar to exercises encouraged post-rotator cuff surgery. I teased that they probably are the same and that someone just changed the title on the booklet. He reminded us that compression is important so that the skin adheres well but to not be doing a ton of stuff up over my head quite yet as that would affect the pectoral muscles. I don't want to end up with T-Rex arms, but he said to wait a few days, not to not do that at all. He even said I don't need any more gauze/bandages over the incisions but to stick with the ACE bandage or compression shirts. 

Otherwise he will check on me in six months!

And that was that! So thank you all for the continued prayers, especially for those of you who prayed that the drains could come out! It is so nice to be able to lie on my sides instead of only my back. I slept in the recliner for about a week and it's so nice to be back in my comfy bed. 

My chest is tightly wrapped and I've been making comments about corsets and stays to Dada, who has been grinning while wrapping me. Yet another Thing I Should Have Figured Out Had I Really Thought About It is that with my chest wrapped so tightly, it looks like my belly is popping straight out. Stop right there, those of you saying, "what belly?" Just quit it. I am telling you that yes, I have one, and yes, it is out there, looking 4 months pregnant. This is not just me. This is lots of online ladies who've gone through this. Some of them have freaked out to husbands along the lines of "did they put my boobs in my belly!?" to which husbands standing out of strangling distance have quipped, "no, it always looked like that but you couldn't tell because your boobs were in the way." I'm serious. The Internet says so. It must be true. Sorry to those of you still reading in a public place. Keep the giggling outbursts to a minimum. People are going to think something is wrong with you. 

If you see me in one of Dada's button downs because I still can't do over the head shirts and I only own two button downs of my own, please don't ask when I'm due. Unless you're standing out of arm's reach. Best still watch out, though. As someone I love pointed out, I'm more aerodynamic now so that means I'm pretty fast. ;)