And another thing

 It smelled like skunk when we stepped outside this morning, but I’m flummoxed as to why it smelled like Doritos at the bus stop. What is going on today?!

A fruit fly on top and grounds on the bottom

 I dunno how your hump day elixir of magic beans turned out, but I found a drowned fruit fly floating in mine. Once I fished the carcass out and savored my sips, I got to the bottom of my cute little mug of creamy deliciousness where I had grounds at the bottom. Supposedly you can tell futures from tea leaves… what are my coffee bean grounds predicting, I wonder?

Random thoughts from my brain

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR MAUDIE!

We hope your day is terrific and we love you! 💕🎂🍔

***

Another fact-based life lesson:
#1 Yesterday I went for a long walk.

#2 Yesterday I weeded.... no good deed goes unpunished.

#3 Yesterday I spent a good bit of time on our front porch swing.

Last night before my shower, I counted scores of bug bites. And yes, I sang this song:

Conclusion: I am apparently deliciously irresistible and MUST wear bug spray in the great outdoors. Why this lesson bears repeating is beyond me as you'd think someone who gets as thoroughly devoured as I do would remember to put on the dang bug spray! I wonder if word has gotten out somehow that I'm on blood thinners and can now be sipped from with the greatest of ease. Do insects use their own secret hobo signals, do you suppose? What would the sign be for BUG OFF!?

These are the facts

 #1 A friend brought a flower bouquet to our Christmas in July party.

#2 Thing Two has gone through at least 7 tissues this morning.

#3 He did not take allergy meds yesterday.

Conclusion, in his own words: 

One of these days I'm gonna sneeze out my esophagus. 

It's so easy... to be unbelievable...

 I don't know how other people manage inside their own brains, but mine apparently had orders to travel every segue that can be taken via music. Or a movie line. Or a sitcom quip.

For instance, this morning I mused to myself, not even out loud, about "it's so much easier to not have to deal with Bosley in the morning."

Bos is at the family farm, thanks to the kindness of my father-in-law, who watched him during our family get together and the following Christmas in July party. We haven't reclaimed him yet, hence the "it's so easy..."

Which is precisely where my brain pivoted. I've had a running chorus of "It's So Easy" in my head all morning. Not the Linda Ronstadt one. Not humming about falling in love. The Guns N' Roses version, which according to a quick search is about how the band's popularity was skyrocketing yet they had no money and were living off the excess of others. At any rate, I'm quite sure I was mostly unaware of the lyrics despite the hook of the tune.

I've also been ignorant of actual lyrics to other songs. I have at least one close friend who is in that boat with me, blissfully singing along at the top of our lungs, only to discover that we are singing wildly incorrect words. My favorite example is one we absolutely knew but had apparently completely forgotten: substituting "finally" for Journey's "Faithfully" much to our merriment! In case you can't quite get there, it would be, "I'm foreveeeer yoooooours...finally." Maybe we should have made a remix.

Now you'll never hear it the other way again. You're welcome.

Another song I'd been called out for mangling was when I substituted "how was I" for OMC's "How Bizarre." I know. That didn't make any sense to me either, but perhaps enough people were in the boat with me to make the band a one-hit wonder. Also catchy, never knew the lyrics, whatever. Man, I miss the days and bands who would print the lyrics on the insides of their paper labels of the cassette tape or CD! I devoured those!

In terms of long-distance anything, Dada and I look at each other and crack up, repeating Coach Calhoun's line to Danny Zuko in "Grease" about stamina and "long-distance running.. cross-country running," complete with arm movements.

Or when anything is, frankly, unbelievable, then how can you NOT go with Liam Dunn's line to Madeline Kahn in "What's Up, Doc?" 

Have a terrific week, however you like your lyrics!

And I take no credit whatsoever for the video- just borrowed it from YouTube. Go rent the movie. It is a HOOT!

I'm still here!

 Hi! You may remember me. I used to be a blogger, haha.

Sorry. Summer sends routine out the window in both good and bad ways. I'd like to think I'm getting more sleep, but I am pretty sure it's only that bedtime anad waketime have shifted further back. The city pool is open, so I've been walking the lazy river... well, duck-walking it actually, as it's less than three feet deep and I'm trying to keep my top half submerged to use the water pressure as compression to do my arm exercises. We went on vacation and are home again, so that's another cause of radio silence. And now there's Christmas in July party prep and a family get together and a summer check-in with students and we went to the drive-in movies and we've had probably a literal boatload of ice cream this summer (for sure a kayak, maybe a dinghy) and we're doing yardwork when we won't melt or sink- we've had some wild weather- and I'm going to PT twice a week and we are still painting the basement around all the other things. If summer is supposed to be a time of rest then I'm pretty sure we're doing it wrong.

But if it's time to squish in as much stuff as possible, then we are probably doing "fair to middling" as the saying goes! 

Thing Three gets his braces off this week and is working albeit grudgingly on his required driving hours. Band camp will start up soon which is one of his favorite weeks.

Thing Two is jobhunting and living off PBJ despite us having all the meats. Dunno what he'd have done as a caveman. We giggle that he is indistinguishable from our plastic skeleton friend- the one currently on the front porch in swim goggles and swim trunks- both in circumference and paleness!

Thing One is plying tourists down South with caffeine and sugar at two different jobs and seems to be doing well despite the following text exchange:

Absolutely revolting start to the morning: smooshed a cockroach on the ground behind my counter and then five minutes later it appeared dragging its half-popped not-yet-corpse body along the edge of my counter.

To be fair, that's how a lot of people feel before coffee on a Monday morning. "I'm not dead yet."

Taking a stomp to the exoskeleton and then dragging all your innards up a vertical cliff is an entirely different ballgame...

I said "feel." "Must...get...to...Monday...morning...staff...meeting...nggghhh..."

Haha

***

Have a terrific Tuesday, everybody!

Oh shoot, I'm out of practice. Thanks to everybody who checked in about my blood clot! Poor Dada earned many gold stars for giving me all 60 Lovenox injections and now I'm back on twice daily Eliquis for the next few months. I have no movement restrictions so I'm going about business as usual, fighting through PT to get back range of motion and all the things. The party line seems to be "keep doing what you're doing and we will ultrasound the area this fall."

Me, shrugging, "okieeeedokieeeee."

AND today is my very last dose of the first year of a medication I'm to take for 3 years, so I'm a third done. Woohoo! My doc is pretty sure it's the main culprit behind my hair thinning, so it's looking like baby bird hair and no eyelashes or eyebrows for two more years. Good thing I didn't open the mascara I bought a year ago when it looked like they were finally making a comeback... it'll be all ready to go for back to school 2028! 

NOW y'all go and seize your week!

Keeping things interesting

 I used to be boring. Seriously. Before cancer, pre-2018, I'd never even had a cavity or a broken bone.

Now I have a blood clot.

I guess officially it is a DVT though it is in the upper inside of my beleagured right arm, not either leg. Never even thought about getting one there. Saturday morning I awakened to a more-swollen-than-usual hand and an arm that felt like it was someone else's but had been sewn onto my body. When I bent my elbow for a few seconds and then released, the skin went from pinkish-purple (not my usual skin tone) to yellow-white before returning to the shade of rose. 

Of course it was on a Saturday. Of course I'd just seen my oncologist and my PT gal on Thursday. So here's me, playing phone tag with the oncologist on call whom I've never met. He encouraged me to go to the closest ER but that one didn't have ultrasound availablility until Monday, so we rerouted to the hospital attached to where I had chemo, got my vascular ultrasound, and within 15 minutes of being finished was formally informed of the blood clot. However, the tech had already showed me on the screen the spot that didn't squish together under compression of the doppler wand, so I was unsurprised to get the news.

I have been on 2.5 mg of Eliquis as a preventative measure since my venogram on April 20th, with the hope that this wouldn't happen. I didn't really dream that it would be an issue, but here we are.

I discontinued the Eliquis and have been upgraded, lucky me, to twice daily injections of Lovenox for a month. On Saturday, the hospital gave me a dose and a half, I think, to tide me over until my prescription was filled. However, the pharmacy was out of stock and won't have it until today, so yesterday it was back to the hospital for another dose to get me through until I can pick up the meds. Thankfully, the ER doc from further away coordinated with the closer one so I was able to get yesterday's dose without the longer drive. I love it when a plan comes together.

Poor Dada had no idea what he was getting into when he vowed, "in sickness and in health" and probably never dreamed that he would be giving me shots in my belly, the outsides of my thighs, and the back of my left arm since the right is off limits due to the lymphedema. Once again, I am more medically interesting than I want to be!

Just checkin’ in

 I dunno what all y’all are doing, but I am spending more time shimmying (to music popular when I was in junior high) atop my rickety step ladder in the basement than I am painting. 

For those who are curious, that would be Guns & Roses, Aerosmith, U2, and so forth. Tomorrow I might switch it up and go way back so I hear Solomon Burke’s “Cry to Me”…

For those of you curious about the other part, it’s Dragonfly by Behr paint, which is a gray-green that I hope will go well with the tile we have yet to purchase. I’m doing the cutting in, the boys can enthusiastically (or not) roller the rest. I have just enough of my Dad in me that I want to be precise so I have to keep reminding myself that:

A) I have one good, non-dominant arm and a less good dominant arm in a compression sleeve with a fun knee sock over it to protect it from paint. I cut the toe off so it’s working very well! I had PT yesterday and the gal said, “hey, you’re already warmed up and it won’t take me 15 minutes just to work you loose enough to do anything with! Can you pant before you come every time?”

B) It’s a basement. We will not be hosting the Queen. 

I did renew a pool pass which I do intend to use, but as the nights here have still been in the 50s I am not ready to get into a pool for the early morning lazy river walks yet… maybe next week. 

So, back to the stepladder!

And happy birthday to Mama Dean! Have a great day!

Blathering on

 Sometimes I really do forget I have a blog. Other times it's just a busy life season. Once in awhile it's both!

In the month of May, I've had about half a dozen physical therapy appointments and an OT check in on top of wrapping up the school year. Thing Three performed in both a band concert and the Memorial Day parade. I've had two follow up appointments from last year's docs, some dry needling, made a trip to my hometown for a weekend, snuggled babies at church, wrapped up one preschool class with a zoo field trip and an evening spring program, and this week is Thing Three's last week of school while I try to fit in all the online training I need to have done before the end of June. There was also a visit to a retirement home with the preK crowd in addition to my school fighting off yet another wave of germs. Yeesh. No wonder I'm tired!

Arm/shoulder-wise, things are... meh. I'm wearing my compression glove and sleeve daily, I'm doing my PT exercises more often than not, I'm still seeing more swelling than I'd like, but this may just be my new normal. I don't know how we're to know if the vein stayed open since the venogram without imaging, but none has been ordered yet and the follow up appointment isn't until the middle of next month. I'm wearing the reductor kit at night while I sleep, pumping in my cool Darth Vader vest and sleeve* daily and now have a mushroom-shaped pad? pocket? pouch? thing that I wear with the stalk end tucked inside a compression bra and the shroomy end sticking into my armpit. The thinking is that it will help bust up some scar tissue and increase range of motion by loosening all that up. Jury is still out. I've worn it to bed twice. I think I'll try alternating that with the reductor kit since when I do the kit then my hand is swollen in the morning but if I do nothing then this tightness isn't going to be helped even passively... I don't know. I now better understand being over something even while in the midst of going through something!

* Funny story- I was also issued a pair of shorts that attach to the pump because it's easier to order them and get it all at once than to add pieces later. I figured I'd never need the shorts, but whatever. Then I spent an afternoon vigorously yanking out honeysuckle bushes, including one extra hard yank which landed me on my "butt-ducks" as our kids used to say. I'd already been only a foot off the ground because I was using my legs in a squat instead of my back, but I still sat there laughing at myself for a minute. The next day, my butt-ducks and rear thighs were so tight and whiny that I thought, "hey! I can use the shorts!" So for two days that's what I did and, boy, if you've never had your butt-ducks rhythmically squeezed and released, it's really something. I don't know what, but it's something! I can just hear my Grammy and Gramps laughing at me!

I have little news to report on progress made in the basement since the death of the sump pump. We are looking at tile flooring because we know it's only a matter of time before the new sump pump also croaks and we have zero desire to rip out carpet and padding yet again. For the tile we have a first and second choice, we think. We have not taken measurements yet. We also have paint swatches since we were never wild about the color down there in the first place and it's been... well... this fall will be our 12th year here, I think, so we figured we might as well paint before we do the floor.

None of that was on the Bingo card for 2026. In fact, I have paint swatches taped up in the foyer because that's the room I'd painted most recently and it has held up the least well. When I showed Dada my colors, he sniggered and said it was exactly what was already on the walls and that at least I was consistent. I'd be offended except for the fact that he's right; they are almost identical. *sigh*

Thing Two made it home safely from his welding training this semester and has become a bump on a chair at the tall table. His basement bunker is out of the picture, so even though he's still not getting fresh air or sunshine, he's at least visible. Until he turns sideways, anyway, and then he disappears. He's so skinny! Miracles happen every day, and the proof is that my 20 year old Honda, Pepe the Pilot, survived the entire excursion of getting him to and from class daily through winter in Cleveland, involving both extremely rutted back roads and freeways of crazy drivers. Thank you for all the diligent prayers- they worked!

Thing One is working two jobs and having the typical summertime computer issues of something deciding to quit working and never mind that it has 8 years of art on it. Pshaw. Why should it boot up and do its job? This is in addition to whatever maintenance issues the jobs themselves run into. I believe the quote I heard was, "why is it whenever something happens we always have to tear out a wall??" Apparently when someone puts a coffee pot under a leak and then never checks it again... well, let's just say that we have all been introduced to our friend Gravity and that it doesn't bode well. Otherwise, having fun with the housemates and living the dream.

And we still have Boooooosley, who turned 9 on Cinco de Mayo, is no smarter than when we brought him home at 4 months old, and will probably live forever. Loudly. Ridiculous.

I hope all of you experience a GENTLE transition from spring to summer- goodness knows we all have whiplash here from Ohio being wishy-washy at best about what season it thinks it is- and that the end of the school year brings a routine in which you can breathe, and I don't just mean allergy relief. Take good care of you and revive your spirits. 

What's that saying, again?

 Life is what happens when you're making other plans. Is that the right one? Or maybe I mean, "no good deed goes unpunished."

Over spring break I scrubbed all our kitchen cabinets. Then a sealed, unopened jar of honey fermented and leaked on our counter behind some other items and we had ants.

I scrubbed the walnut floor in our library, then the basement sump pump died, flooded the basement, and now the basement stuff is all sitting on my clean library floor.

I surrender! I get it- no more cleaning!

Sheesh… someone is overreacting

My stars. I go on blood thinners for three months, and my elite of husbands buys a box of 198 Band-aids…

My picture won’t load (probably because I’m out of storage. Yes Google, I know. Get over it.) so you will just have to imagine a humungous box of 5 assorted sizes, colors, and waterproofing.

And why am I on blood thinners? That’s a story for another day, but the Cliff Notes version is I had a procedure called a venogram yesterday, which went better than I expected, but because veins carry lower pressured blood back to your heart, the surgeon wants me on 3 months of blood thinners while it gets used to pulling its weight again after being compressed for an unknown amount of time.

All is well! I’ll try to stay out of the Band-aids!

What I'm up to, and what's next

 If I tell you this, you have to trust that I'm not crowing about it or trying to make anybody look bad, and you must understand I'm not putting myself above others who choose not to do this:

I am scrubbing the outsides of my kitchen cabinets today.

In my defense:

1.) It's my spring break. My Mommeeee is visiting and since she gets wiped out from travel, it's a good day to stay home and chat with her.

2.) I wasn't here last spring to do it as I was in the big city being radiated and didn't want to use my already-short weekends at home to do them then. Then time for fall cleaning rolled around but I started working at school  instead. Yes, it is an "or" situation, not an "and", hahaha. Anybody who has ever been to my house is now nodding in understanding.

3.) It is a really good set of stretches for this afflicted right arm and side. More on that later.*

I may never, ever get to my baseboards (looking at you, my bestie) but I can do these kitchen cabinets. I'm about halfway done. I'll be the only one who even notices that they've been cleaned, but I can tell you that I burned 100 calories in under half an hour, so if you're sick of the treadmill because it is STILL too cold out, well, grab your bucket and a rag, turn up some music, and off you go!

*************

Whoops. That key really stuck. Oh well. 

The scoop on my arm and all that jazz is this: in two weeks I'll have a procedure called a venogram in which contrast will be run through an IV and then watched with an ultrasound to see how compressed my vein is in that right upper arm/ shoulder/ armpit/ axilla quadrant. If it is open at all, the surgeon intends to inflate a balloon in there to "snowplow" it open the rest of the way and then will withdraw the balloon, similar to some heart procedures. I will be awake but under some sedation as they may want me to move that arm in various positions so they can see where bloodflow is being compressed, etc. I will be on blood thinners for 3 months following all that, which I confess to being less than thrilled about, but I understand that is to give the vein practice with easier bloodflow as it recovers. (My main concern is that one of my meds dries out my eyes and nose already and I don't want constant nosebleeds.)

If the vein is completely closed, then the surgeon will have a discussion with my plastics guy to develop a plan to take more drastic measures. Even if the procedure works this time, there's no guarantee the vein will stay open because it's been radiated twice, so we may end up with the second plan anyway. We only got the bare bones of that plan floated, but phrases like, "yes, something from a cadaver could work", "I'm thinking your veins in your legs would be too small", and "we sometimes use the jugular vein but that would be from your left side" were bandied about. 

In the meantime, I'll be starting PT for my shoulder range of motion and having more dry needling done, which I've done twice now and am amazed that it works. I am flummoxed that someone can stick half a dozen needles into me no problem and I feel better but every opportunity for a blood draw is fraught with stress. So weird. 😁

Anyhoo, back to the second half of my cabinets!

Ruminating about the essence of sheep

 One of my wool dryer balls hopped out of the dryer and skittered back into the no-man’s-land between the dryer and the washer. Into the dust. Into the dog hair. Where I couldn’t easily reach to rescue it. 

It got me wondering, “is it in the nature of sheep to get lost? Is that the essence of sheep, even once they’ve donated to become dryer balls, to determinedly get themselves separated and lost? Wherefore doest thou thinkest that thou is going?”

It reminded me of one of my favorite kid stories. One of our boys was in the high chair at our old house and we were poking Cheerios, chasing them around the tray of the high chair. I’d purposely pop them to bounce a little and say, “hey! Get back here!” It made the little guy giggle and so I kept doing it. Eventually I had to wander off to clean something up and I hear, “hey! Hah-bat-choo! Hey! Hah-bat-choo!” That was as close as he could get to “hey, get back here” and we still use the phrase regularly at our house. 

I confess to exclaiming it to my prodigal dryer ball. 

Don’t be that dude. Stay with your herd. Or flock. Or whatever you call a collection of dryer balls.

That works in life, too, you know. Find your tribe and bless ‘em! And speaking of tribes, a belated very happy 80th birthday to one of my parents’ besties! Thanks for being part of our tribe for decades. We are better people because of your friendship. Love you!

Whiplash

 

Seriously? Now, I ask you... who is in charge of this!?

Snippets from school

 We celebrated Dr. Seuss all last week which culminated in a party on Friday with One Fish Two Fish snacks and Cat in the Hat fruit kebobs. My coworkers are the best! 

We've finished the Olympics and moved on to March Madness, but with books. Daily we've been reading two books to the kids and they have to vote on their favorite, We have brackets made of painters' tape up on the walls with photocopies of the covers of each book, so once it is full I'll get some photos for here. So far, the Sleep Book won over its competitor, Fox in Socks was in the running, and so was Marvin K Mooney. They won't all be Seuss books, but that's what we kicked it off with. 

We've had two Silly Socks days. One of the 3s came in with these socks, above, which are possibly the cutest socks I've ever seen in my life! It took him a minute to get them to hold hands, but he got it!

You can see my Mary Jane with Wonder Woman sock in the bottom left, but you can't see the cape on the back of it, alas.

 And the Olympics! BOY, did we have fun. I've never enjoyed the Winter Games more than this year. One of my coworkers made these bobsleds, above, and the skis, below, and we also had hockey games with pool noodles, ski jumps off the gym mats with pool noodle ski poles, a slalom course set up of hula hoops that the kids had to hop into from side to side on both feet, and on and on. They had a ball! We had so much gross motor time that we really saw a lot of confidence being built up, especially in kiddos we didn't expect to really get involved! It has been a very long winter of inside recess, so the chance to have something novel to try was a huge hit. 

Our kids even made "torches" from a toilet paper roll and red, orange, and yellow tissue paper, and then with that in one hand and a mini American flag in the other, got to parade through the lunchroom while the big kids chanted, "USA! USA! USA!" and the sound system played the Olympic theme. The 4s and 5s were thrilled. The 3s were dubious. All were adorable.  

The skis look a little worse for wear here, but the kids were absolutely delighted. I personally am sad that the Olympics are over and that we won't get to do it again for years! It was really neat to experience them for the first time throuigh these little kids who had no idea what the fuss was about and to then have them coming in each day asking, "what are the Olympics today?!"

Another random rundown

 So this will be a load of random, I'd planned to blog about the last of the teas from January but at this point I don't remember, so tough beans. Or tea leaves, I guess. They were mostly yummy and I've remembered to drink more tea this year than ever before, so it worked, I guess? Haha.

We are experiencing technical issues over here, as well. Thing One graciously lent me a portable keyboard for this post because my poor laptop, above, was baptized with apple juice and some of the keys are not sticky to the touch but are sticky underneath which results in a lot of frustration, random j's, and so forth. As you can see, the space bar is also missing, which makes things a little more challenging and renders moot most of what I learned in typing class with Mr. Hovis many moons ago. 

So., My phone is chock full of photos of my preK crowd but since I don't know who has permission to see them and who doesn't, I won't be sharing those visually. I need to clean out my phone storage for real, which reminds me of one of my most recent favorite preK quotes:

My nana caught an octopus FOR REAL.

Sounds like a children's book waiting to happen...

Weatherwise, we've gone from snow angels to throwing windows open and walks in the sunshine and the corresponding sinus headaches with the temps and pressure being all over the map. Most people I know are still dealing with a cough of some sort, or sinus congestion, or both. Why March feels the need to go from 20s to 70s and then back to the 40s and wet when we could all use weeks on end of 60s is beyond me, but I'm not in charge.

Arm-wise, I'm still playing phone tag with the big city folks about what they want to do to me next. There's been talk of involving a vascular department but I have zero ideas as to what that would actually entail other than thought bubbles containing, "stent?" "Removing a rib?" "Ballooning something back open?" Yeah, not getting all bent out of shape until we talk to the pros. I am against rib removal, though, for the record... and this is why you don't google things or talk to people who don't work in the spoecific department.

Meanwhile, I am still wearing The Reductor 23ish of 24 hours, including sleeping in it, getting stuck to my wool blanket because of the velcro, trying to put on/take off makeup and brush teeth when I'm not wearing it because it's hard to make my elbow bend to those angles while in the darn thing, and ain't nobody wants to see me do eyeliner left handed. It's been two and a half weeks of my 2-4 weeks, so we are getting there. 

I also graduated from my bag of foam chips to stuff into my bra to a small bag of beads. I find it completely ridiculous that I'm wearing a padded bra sans boobs, but the PT gal says that she does notice my scar tissue softening, so I guess it's working. I'm doing my exercises and my stretches and all the things, though I can't do them as often as recommended due to the limited mobility because of The Reductor. That's okay. I'll get there. Just keep chipping along. 

Thing One just teased me, "laundry basket emoji!" which is our shorthand for "Get your stuff outta the washer (or dryer)!" Must rescue the sheets. Be back in justasec...

Last week, we asked one of our brand new four-year-olds what his take was on the weather. He looked out the window and reported, "it's foggy... and rainy... and gross!" Spot on, my friend.

I texted Thing Three from the dentist and asked if he was doing okay. He replied, "i was kidnapped and im being waterboarded right now

it stings"

I can't even.

Thing Two informed us that the house shook and he wondered what was going on only to discover later that he'd been about 3 miles from the 2.9 earthquake Ohio had last week. I told my mother that it often feels like Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs anymore. Otherwise, he says he is doing fine and that he prefers snow covered roads because it helps fill in the potholes. Poor Pepe. I hope he can keep it together through all the spring thaws...

Overall, we are doing okay. Hanging in there like everybody else between high points and valleys. Take good care of you!

Happy birthday, Gramps!

 I dunno how old my Dad’s dad would be today, but I always find it funny that his birthday is the same as the amazing Dr. Seuss! Today our preK crowd will be wearing pajamas and we will be reading one of my all-time favorites, the Sleep Book. It’s Seuss week, so there are lots of Shenanigans planned and I’m sure there will be plenty of spontaneous, kid-originated Shenanigans as well!

I will be wearing my minion pajamas bottoms- yes, the ones from Despicable Me- and I will most likely still be wearing them to my PT appointment right after school. Last week we had a silly sock day so I got to wear my Wonder Woman socks- which have capes on them, by the way- to PT and the woman who works on me approved highly. I’m just here for comic relief.

Since it’s March and we will have St. Patty’s Day to celebrate soon, I bought our yearly Lucky Charms so there’s a happy teenage boy munching away this morning. Congrats, everyone, for making it through February!

Have a great day!

Check in

 Sorry for the radio silence. The weather finally broke from the awful cold and tons of snow, so I've been sneaking in time outside in the fresh air as often as possible. We've gone on a few walks, I picked up some winter-downed sticks and even cleaned up some of every dog owner's nightmare when the snow finally melts.

I've also worn my compression sleeve faithfully daily for months to little avail. My right arm is swollen and feels almost solid and when you press on it, you leave imprints. The next post is all about the next steps there, so I won't belabor the subject. It's tight clear up into my neck and I'm not seeing much relief despite all the various exercises I've been given to do. It is what it is right now.

School is going well. These are the first Olympics our three-, four- and five year olds have experienced, so we've been having a ton of fun adapting the Games for these young kids: 

-We used wheeled, square scooters with nap time mats folded on top of them for bobsleds. One kid would sit in the middle while a partner kid would push them across the gym.  

-They stood each foot on a paper plate and skidded around the gym as speed skaters.

-We stood gymnastics mats on edge to make huge hockey goals, gave the kids pool noodles and a ball, and they played hockey. 

-They stuffed red, yellow, and orange tissue paper into toilet paper rolls as their Olympic torches, and with torch in one hand and a small American flag in the other, toured the school while the bigger students chanted, "USA! USA! USA!" to our preschoolers' great delight for Opening Ceremonies.

It's been a ball. What a great activity for the dead of winter. Thank you so much, Olympians, for all your hard work and sheer grit and, if I'm honest, the complete insanity of some of your sports!

Lo, I shall call you The Reductor

 

I had a CT scan yesterday which went pretty well as far as I could tell, and then I had a PT appt after that. My physical therapist moaned in dismay when I updated her on all the lymphedema happenings because she'd last seen me in November and the swelling hadn't really picked up yet then. 

So we got to work. I got a Reduction Kit. Its job, while it's worn 23 of 24 hours a day, is to more seriously squeeze my arm to help the fluid get where it needs to go. The compression sleeve I'd been wearing was more of a maintenance sleeve and we've gone past maintaining and into the realm of "let's reverse this process."

I now have in my possession two soft fabric sleeves with thumb holes. I slide into one of them and then add this velcro contraption over top. It has 8 separate sections to pull snugly over the 2 bands inside. She asked, "where can I number them so that they're unobtrusive?"

"Oh no. I work in a preschool. Number those suckers right on there and we will practice counting!"

I've only slept in it for one night at this point and I have to say that I got tangled in the covers a little bit less than I expected. Wardrobe might be a bit tricky for the month that I'm to wear it. Today I wore a tank top with a loose, drapey, poncho type sweater over it. Blouses are not going to work right now as they were already tight over the compression sleeve and this is substantially more bulky. 

I was resigned to wearing it forever, so I asked, "won't my skin get pretty wimpy if it never sees the sun and doesn't get out in the fresh air?" She was horrified and corrected me immediately, "oh! I'm SO sorry. This is only a 2-4 week thing, not a forever thing! We just need to reduce the fluid and get that skin soft again. This isn't the rest of your life!"

Whew.

Thankfully, it's still going to be wintry for awhile in Ohio, despite the 65 degrees it hit yesterday, so I'll be able to get away with tank tops and sweaters, I think. 

Today, the plastic surgery team meets to go over my CT results and my measurements and all that jazz to see where my lymph system or circulatory system is having trouble.  They had contrast in that IV yesterday and will hopefully be able to see "where the dam is spilling" or where things are compressed to the point they're draining ineffectively. I sure hope it showed something! Then they hope to come up with a plan for how to help me, including surgery if needed. They talked about how they'd most likely need to transfer skin from my back to the area that's been radiated twice so they have healthy tissue to work with as they clean up whatever is happening in there. I am not even going to try to speculate what that all involves, but I do know that removing lymph nodes from my belly (where they don't really do much) into my right arm is a possibility. Beyond that, I decided I'll just wait and see because someone on that panel may say, "hey, I read about XYZ so maybe you could try that with her!" No sense in getting stressed about it before any of it has to happen. 

Meanwhile, none of my three year olds today asked about my new sleeve, though I am sure the majority of my fours and fives tomorrow will give me the third degree! I plan to draw bugs which correspond to the numbers on the velcro panels- 9 fruit flies, 8 ants, etc. down to one large bug like a praying mantis or something. If I'm going to be in this thing, might as well make it fun. Good thing our Resident Artist is home to help as well!

As far as prayer requests go, I don't even know other than A) a good plan that bodes well for ideally no/few issues in the long term and B) that can be done between school and vacation, again ideally, and C) that everything is healed before our Christmas in July party so that I can be living life! Just DON'T pray for patience for me as I figure out how to finagle all of this stuff with my left hand because I'm right hand dominant, of course!  

Don't take your elbows for granted. It's all fun and games until you can't bend your arm...

A venting/processing post- *reader beware*

Here we are, into our 27th year of marriage, and life just keeps getting nuttier. 

I know it's been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry about that. 

I'm a little all over the place. 

And I haven't had lunch yet and it's almost 2:30.

Mentally, I feel like I have most of my marbles, thanks to my Lisa, who gave me a jar of them, haha! Now if my ducks would keep to their row and quit meandering about...

Emotionally, it was a hard week. I didn't sleep great for whatever reason, and one of the companies which supplies the meds I'll be on for years was being.... difficult?

I feel like here is where I relay the story about when my younger brother went off to summer camp. Bart Simpson had kind of wowed us all with popularizing, "that sucks, man!" We weren't supposed to say it when we were home. But my brother's counselor announced, "we will not be saying that... we will instead say, "that is less than desirable" when we want to say, "that sucks."

I can't tell you how often I've said "this is less than desirable" this week, along with tears of rage and frustration, and "why can't things and people just DO THEIR JOBS?!"

Physically, oh boy. Do you really want to know?

In November, I noticed my right arm was feeling tighter than it had been. I had a PT appointment in which they took measurements, but they usually take three and could only take two that day because one of their measuring machines was down. Apparently everyone's were, as they'd just been updated and then all decided they weren't working. Nothing like that ever happens to any devices anywhere, right? Ha.

I'd been operating for a few months, I think, on the "wear your compression sleeve for heavy household chores and exercise." And I did. But now I felt like I was needing to wear it daily. For those of you who don't know what that feeling is, the best I can describe it is that it feels as though I'm leaning my elbow into the padding of a communion rail or confession/kneeler pad that some churches flip down from the pew ahead of yours. There's fluid buildup so my arm feels squishy yet tight to the touch at the same time. It's weird. One of the lymphedema signs I was to watch out for was indents that didn't disappear quickly. 

So my measurement numbers were a LITTLE up that day in November, I've stretched out my second compression sleeve because I faithfully wore my first one all summer as required (with much grumbling, you can believe; my tanlines were "less than desirable!")

I start local PT next week and see the big city PT crew again in two weeks. But I'm getting ahead of the story.

Yesterday, I drove to the big city for a meeting with the plastic surgeon who was part of my team who did the pLVB procedure which is a bypass where they route the severed lymph vessels straight into veins to help with drainage. The hope was that the procedure would prevent what we are seeing now. 

So, when your plastics doc looks at your body with a grimace and sighs, "oh God, that's horrible," then a lot of things go through my mind.

In no particular order:

YAY! It's not my imagination!

Good, that's a real reaction and now we can talk about it.

Hmm, it must be worse than I thought. 

Maybe he can help with my neck, too. 

There were other things, but what's rattling around my head in that moment is less important than what started being discussed.

I'd seen my oncologist the previous day and she had only good things to say. Numbers were excellent. I'm cancer-free. These appointments for everything will start to dwindle down as I start living my life as someone who is cancer-free! Yippie!

So the plastics doc and his PA start brainstorming right away. She's typing madly, coordinating teams to figure out what tests need done, starting with a CT scan, to see where things are breaking down. Their immediate feeling is that there's so much damaged tissue near my armpit between being radiated twice and scar tissue/cording that there's the possibility of a vascular issue in that area. Maybe the lymph vessels are backed up because a vein can't drain. They want to start testing to see what's what.

The PA mentioned injecting dye into my hand to then see how it is pulled back up by the veins so that they could find where the dam is broken, so to speak. I think that's a neat idea! They started tossing out procedure ideas including taking healthy, unradiated tissue from my back and transplanting it near my armpit because they will need healthy tissue to work with. There will also be wraps, pumps, other compression garments, etc, to trial to see what will fit my life. 

They're going to discuss me at their next panel which they hold once a month, like the tumor board where THEY used to talk about me, and we've already arranged the CT scan for the day before the panel so they'll have all the recent numbers for their meeting. Another PT appointment will also be that day, so they can't get any fresher measurements than that!

I told that sweet man of mine that I refuse to get fussed about all this before their hold their meeting. Someone on that panel might interject with a "hey! I just saw a study on ______ and what if we tried _____!?" The PA said she has an idea involving several steps that normally don't go together so she was processing how to enter them into the system to get the teams to work together when there isn't a set protocol yet, so to speak.

Was any of that the news I wanted? No. Is it less than desirable? Yes. Is it my life now? Yes. It'll be a chronic thing to be managed from here on out. 

Am I furious that yet again a summer will go by where I'll most likely be told to stay out of water while I heal and protect myself from the sun? You bet! However, I have a goal to be healthy for Christmas in July and my 50.5 party so already I'm looking forward to fun things and recovery milestones. 

Yes, there was some piratey talk, and there will most likely be more. But even in this, I can see His faithfulness to me. It was the first time I've driven myself to and from the big city, and I made it both ways safely. In February. 

The kids at home had dentist appointments right after school and then Thing Three had pep band to get to straight from there. They made all their destinations on time and safely and eventually all of us were home again. Even my sweet hubby made it from out of town, parked RIGHT beside me for my appointment, and caravanned home.

I sleep in a bed off the ground without mosquito nets in a room designated for sleeping without our children and with zero livestock accompanying us. How many blessings is that right there? I flip a switch and a light shines. I open a cold box and there's food inside. Miracles abound. Every single day. 

Sometimes your meds even show up when you need them. That's a post for another day.

Will this be hard and frustrating? Yeah, probably. Will I cry some more and have hard days? Most definitely. Is this how I pictured my body looking for the rest of my life? Not even close. 

But I do still have two arms that work for hugs. 

I'm cancer free. 

I'm better than a survivor.

I'm a victor.