Rambling

 I think there's probably a reason that the human race generally has children when parents are younger versus older, and it is directly related to the energy level of those little ones. Whew! Preschoolers are hardcore, let me tell you. Especially ones who have started school determined not to nap. Ever. Silly little peeps have no idea they're missing out on one of the highlights of life. Ah well. With age comes wisdom.

That's what they say, anyway.

The students I'm working with are adorable, precocious, ridiculous, sweet, funny, earnest, enthusiastic ... and are wearing me out. I don't want to use the word "exhausting" because it's still early days, but I am amazed by their determination to stay wiggly at nap time and chatty when they should be quiet-ish and, despite announcing repeatedly that they're hungry, much more interested in entertaining their friends than eating their lunches! 

AND, for the love, why do they have to go to the bathroom 15 minutes after they were just reminded to go?

Anyway. We've been going on dot hunts when discussing circles and releasing butterflies and making alphabet books and God bless these brilliant women I work with because I am sheerly there for backup as they present all these incredible and adorable ideas. Letter B's that we've turned into bumblebees, D's that have become donuts, you get the idea. I love that I can quietly whisk the old supplies away and prep the new things while the teachers are explaining what will be happening next. Even if we have to repeat it. Many times. 

I love the staff where I work and these families. I'm having a really good season right now and I'm almost afraid to jinx it by saying anything, but I know some of you wonder so I want to keep you in the loop.

Not sure which kids are allowed to have their photos displayed or not, so you'll just have to envision little people yourself. We have three year olds on Tuesday and Thursday and 4s and 5s on MWF. Last week, one of the 3s decided she wasn't pleased about being dropped off and therefore wasn't going to sit or join the group or sit by herself and stood and stood and stood, only to fold herself in half physically, face down in my teacher friend's lap. Bless the teacher, she adjusted and kept reading to the group right over the top of the little flower's half-prone body. The little one eventually came around and was participating later on, so all's well that ends well.

We hosted Donuts for Dads and are gearing up for Grandparents' Day in a few weeks. We even survived our first two hour fog delay, which means nobody is there long enough to offically have to take a nap, so we had a lovely picnic outside and got to see many airplanes, some butterflies, AND two bald eagles! 

Healthwise, I'm mostly good. All cleared from the hysterectomy, attempted to get back into yoga last week, lamented/raged how much range of motion and flexibility I lost over the summer because of no yoga, and am back at it today. There's more neuropathy in my right arm than I'd like there to be- it often feels fizzy- but I'm not dropping things or in pain from it, so I guess either it'll get better or I'll get used to it. My armpit/pec(?) whatever on that right side has been really extra tight the last several days which is not making me happy, but at least it doesn't feel like a cough will kill me anymore. Sneezes were also terrible, but my body has apparently figured that out because most of them have been aborted, haha! You just don't think about what is connected until something goes wrong. I'm sure it's fine. It's already better than it was late last week. 

Thank you all for praying me/supporting me/loving on me to get me to this point! I think this has been my favorite back to school yet!

The latest intel from the doc

 Sheesh. Day 4 of October and I'm already behind in the Inktober stuff. This surprises exactly nobody who knows me. Oh well. I'll get there.

Yesterday was my surgical follow up appointment. Dr A said the incision looks good, no sign of infection, start moving my arm around 90 degrees and further, gently. She was pleased the surgical drain had been removed. I'm allowed to ease back into exercise but shouldn't pick up where I left off, which is always good advice, and she doesn't need to see me for 6 months!

Regretfully, she still didn't have pathology results to share with me, reiterating that it's been taking 3-4 weeks to get them. Well, two weeks down. Thank you to all of you who are praying for peace for me- it is working. I FEEL like I should be a nervous wreck over not knowing, but I AM not, so I know they're working! She will call me with results AND she will take them to the tumor board so they can discuss what the best plan moving forward would be. Sorry if y'all were waiting for a more definitive answer than that, but the good news is I'm mending well! She said she was pleased at how well I was doing. 

I'm allowed to wear my rings again, we're allowed to trim up the meshy adhesive dressing that flakes away on its own which is a huge relief as it's rubbing and irritating and pulling away even as it's trapping BO and isn't supposed to be scrubbed at. Gah. Did not want my super power to be STINK. Ick. Beware my right armpit!

I'm also allowed to drive so long as nothing is hitching or catching or hurting, so I suppose I'll start with easy jaunts and go from there. She wants to be sure I'd have normal reflexes if needed, which is only fair and wise. 

So we wait some more as I get back into the swing of things. The area is a bit tender but there's not really pain. Getting it 90 degrees is still tough but it'll get there. Soon I won't be making faces whenever I get my arm into a shirt, haha. 

Thanks for all the support, you guys. I am one blessed soul! Have a terrific weekend and be safe in your adventures!

The Lady of the Lotions

This post got lost in the holiday shuffle. I titled it forever ago and stashed it and forgot it. Sorry. Here's some of the radiation story. My last day was December 20, the Thursday before Christmas, but I'll start from some pictures taken along the ride:

December 7:

You can see how my port actually fared pretty well, especially compared to my collarbone, which got pretty red from the skin being all bunched up due to my arms being up above my head. My nurse Barb instructed me to get a jar of Vanicream and use it two to three times a day, but nothing could be applied within 4 hours before treatment. So first thing in the morning I'd slather on my Vanicream, then if I went straight from radiation home instead of running any errands I'd slap some more on, and then again before bedtime. 

I was also informed that in the future, the radiated area will be more sensitive to sun exposure and will "crisp" first, so I'll need to be careful and use sunblock. Good advice for any of us, really.  

My armpit was the most problematic part. I'd given up shaving it, and was only allowed to wear deodorant since anti-perspirants have aluminum in them which is a metal which would then scatter the radiation rays. That's a no-no. Plus, when have you ever sunburned your armpit? I never had. I don't recommend it. That sensitive skin let me know that it wasn't happy with the rays it was receiving. 

And as Baymax shoots rays from underneath and back behind, the "sunburn" extends on my back.

December 9: 

Armpit has already peeled once, as you can see from the raw spot, the only part that was sore, really. Every Tuesday was doctor day, meaning I'd spend some time getting looked over and having questions answered. He prescribed a salve containing silver to rub on the worst areas. He then confided to me, "sometimes I forget to inform patients that the silver will tarnish and darken your skin. Sometimes patients freak out a bit, thinking the radiation is charring them. It's not from the radiation, it's just the tarnished silver." I told him I appreciated his letting me know! 

December 13, last day of treating the entire area. Now they focus the last 5 treatment days on just my scar/incision: 

The silver salve was working well and I was "dry peeling", which is apparently better than "moist peeling" where the team worries more about infection. Peeling is itchy though, so I also have a prescription for an anti-itch cream to rub all over. Still lotioning away three times a day with my various  slatherments, haha!

December 27, one whole week after all radiation is finished:

Haha, wow, I really look yellow! I promise I'm not really that color. Not sure what's going on with the bathroom light... anyway, you can already tell how much my whole area has healed. It's been two weeks since the wide area radiation and a week since even the scar got any. It's amazing! How cool is our God to form our bodies in such a way that it can fix itself?  Do I look perfect? No, still a way to go, but what a change throughout even just two weeks! It's not itchy except for the spot on my back, my collarbone part peeled and is resurfacing, and I have hardly any red anywhere. My armpit peeled twice but the silver salve worked wonders. 

Let me tell you, it is COLD when you slap a palmful of lotion into your armpit so you probably heard frequent squeals from my general direction, but it soon felt so soothed. Sometimes a seam or one of those tangled-in-the-machine thready balls would irritate my tender armpit, so I tried to choose shirts I owned with the softest fabrics to wear. 

I went into this kind of blowing off radiation and its effects, honestly. I had seen "Stepmom" years ago with Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon and was really afraid chemo would do to me what it did to Susan Sarandon's character. Then when it became apparent that mine would not be that bad, I stressed over my surgery. I was really not looking forward to having a catheter and a breathing tube during surgery, but once we got to that point I discovered that I wouldn't need those things! In fact, I was way more worried about those two particular possibilities that I was about the definite removal of my boobs. Perspective, I tell you. Stressing about nothing, all that time! (The lesson here is to talk, ask questions, and talk some more to save yourself unnecessary aggravation!) I never had time to worry about radiation or what it would do to me, even though I'd seen pictures online of those undergoing treatment similar to what mine would be like. 

Here is where I can not say enough wonderful things about my particular radiation team. They gave me hugs, told me to help myself to the treats in the office, made sure I knew I could ask any question anytime, explained anything I wanted to know, sang along to whatever music I picked, and generally made me feel like a family member. I saw them almost every weekday for about 6 weeks. Because they were fantastic to each other and to me, I actually had a wonderful time throughout my radiation experience. 

This was my very last and busy day. Zita took me to get my IV meds that morning. Dada surprised me for my last day and was already waiting in the lobby for me, much to the glee of the gals on my team. "Turn around! Turn around and look who's behind you!" Haha. It was great. They both got to meet more of my team and saw firsthand how much fun we have back there with Baymax.

I'd finally fished Tiny Traveling Tino out of my chemo bag (which has taken over the properties of my old Bible study bag as in "hmm, where did x get to? Oh. It's been in my Bible study bag, haha!") for a trip to radiation:

Here he is in my crosshairs, haha. 

There were more hugs, even from my adorable doctor, and a diploma and well wishes and admonishments to come visit and they'll see me for a follow up appointment in about a month and wishes for happy holidays, etc. 

Yes, I needed tissues. Like I wasn't going to cry after seeing these people every day for over a month, come on!

So now I'm done with Baymax!

Today was Day 10 of taking Tamoxifen, which I'll be on for the foreseeable future. I take 20 mg once a day and that's part of my maintenance program along with the IV meds I'll get every three weeks through May. Once those finish we'll have to schedule my port removal and I'm not sure if that counts as a surgery or how that all works, but I've learnt my lesson and am not going to stress over something I don't need to think about for five more months. 

In the meantime, I've started doing some yoga in the morning thanks to YouTube. It really helped a lot with the skin along my right side, keeping it limber and supple and stretched. I'm glad I started when I did because I think if I hadn't that I may have been overly protective of the area and might have ended up with temporary T. Rex arms with a loss of range of motion. Now it's helping with middle age stiffness and mobility. God knows I don't do yoga for meditative benefits or peace yet; Damon joined me this morning which involved him crashing into walls and almost getting decked while weaving in around me. But range of motion is a good thing so I shall soldier on whether or not I ever end up in a headstand or a downward dog with my knees unbent. Given that it's first thing in the morning I think either of those are Highly Unlikely. 

In case I don't blog again in 2018, thanks once again for the prayers and support you've provided. You may underestimate how much it helped this year. It helped a lot and me and mine are appreciative. We hope your holidays have been blessed with peace, love, joy, and wonder, and that your 2019 is even better!

Oregon on my mind

Today feels like a day in Oregon. I had to park in the back forty of the parking lot for my fifteenth date with Baymax, and as I strolled in I thought about the damp and the light precipitation and how things are still green-ish here. 

After my date, I bundled up to trudge back to the car and when I rounded the corner of the building I got smacked in the face with a gust of wind. It reminded me vividly of the first time I got to see the Pacific Ocean. It was as a newlywed when Dada took me to Cannon Beach. I hopped out of the car, spread my arms wide, started to holler "hellooooo Pacifi*SPLAT* owwww! THAT wasn't NICE!" 

Sleet. Stinging sleet right in my face.

This was like that but minus the sleet, though I imagine that's not too far off. 

At any rate, I am not quite halfway through radiation if you look at it as 15/33 being done, but I am over halfway if you figure that the last 5 treatments will only be focused on my surgical scars. Probably a good thing, too, as I am looking a bit crispy:

You can tell best in my armpit, which, when I think about it, is probably the first time I've ever managed to get sunburn in my armpit, haha!

If you look under my armpit on that right side you'll see more, and up between my neck and shoulder there is more pink. There is also a mole I should probably have looked at the next time I'm in... hmmm... consider this your last-minute PSA to get any suspicious moles checked, as well! AND it is no-shave-November, you men, so get yourselves to your doctors for your annual checkups and take good care of yourselves! We ladies kinda like having you around and people are depending on you to be your best. Ahem.

Big kids are probably coming home any minute, so I gotta jet, but here's two more. Again, right shoulder: 

And yes, that's hair! Woohoo!

Have a wonderful post-Thanksgiving week and stay safe in whatever Mother Nature throws your way!