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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

We interrupt your lunch to bring you this neverending diatribe about grapes.

Liam, age 5 3/4, discussing grapes at lunch today:



"So, green ones to the same thing. Only they turn red when THEY die. So it's kinda the same and kinda different. Depends on the vine. How it grows, like yellow ones, the vines, turn purple. The yellow vines turn gold when they die and yellow grapes come. But different people get the yellow grapes, instead of us. Red grapes grow on red vines only the red vines turn green when they die and THEN grapes grow. Green grapes grow on green vines when they're dead they turn green. But the kind that we have is not the kind that turns red. Cuz we did have um grapes that grow on the same color tree as this. But instead we got the wrong kind of tree. The wrong kind of vine. So. That's what I'm talkin' about. This part right here is the vine, but we didn't pick the grapes off. It's not swinging cuz it's dead. And when it's dead it doesn't swing so much. It doesn't bend so much either.



So anyway, can I have dessert?"



Is it just me, or does he kinda sound like Sarah Palin?

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Things that shouldn't need to be said but apparently DO need to be said...

I know some of you are anxiously awaiting news of Liam's first day of school. Sorry about the delay. He has 5 days under his belt now, but the first one definitely counted as memorable. He got on the bus in the morning just fine, like a big boy, with no looking back or trembly lips or tears.

The school doesn't call at all, which is always a good sign. ;)

The bus is late getting home. Our neighbor, Suzanne, and I wonder aloud if it's because they have new kindergarteners who need lined up and double- and triple-checked to make sure they end up on the correct bus, etc. Finally, finally, the bus pulls up and deposits our kids. Suzanne and I ask Carrie what took the bus so long.

"Oh, Liam got off at the Y." (Where he had preschool and soccer.)

"He got off at the Y???"

"Yep. And the Y person said, "waitaminute, we have one extra. And Mr. Mike said, "hey, isn't that your brother?" and I said, "yeah, that my brother!" So they got him back on the bus and we came home."

At this point, Suzanne is literally bent in half, laughing. And I shake my head and smile and say, "of COURSE it would be my kid who would make the bus late on the first day of school!"

"So, Liam. Why did you get off at the Y?"

"I dunno."

Hooooooooooooooo boy. "Liam, you get on the bus here and you get off at school. Only at school. Then you get on at school and get off the bus again here at the same stop where you get on. Only those two places. School and here."

"Okay."

He claims he had a good first day.

...................

Yesterday, which was like day 12 or something for her, Carrie comes home with her Tshirt on inside out, which incidentally was NOT how she left the house. I ask her, "why is your Tshirt on inside out?"

"I turned it inside out."

"When did you turn it inside out? It was not like that when you left this morning."

"At either the first or second bathroom break. I don't remember."

"WHY did you turn it inside out?"

"I dunno."

"No, you have to have a reason, or it would have stayed right side out."

"I just WANTED to. That's my reason."

Trying to stay calm, "Carrie, your clothes need to remain on your body right side out. Unless the school announces it is Inside Out Day, you keep your clothes on your body right side out. Okay?"

"Okay."

...........

Like I said, things that you'd think wouldn't need to be said sometimes need to be said.....!