Wednesday, May 25, 2022

And another one bites the dust

Liam:  Bosley, if you don’t quit eating my pencils, there is going to be a problem.

Me: He got another one?!

Liam: Yes! I came down to find my eraser and nothing else!

Me: Ohhhh, buddy.

Liam: Buddy, if this continues. I am going to go to jail. And you won’t be around to see it, because I am going to kill you.

***

Firstborn comes down and quips: why dontcha just buy mechanical ones? It’ll kill him faster.

(Apologies to the Grandmama, but she is well aware of the width and depth of the stupidheadedness of this dog.

 “Get a rescue,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said. Hmph.)

Friday, May 20, 2022

Flowers, flowers everywhere


As you can see, I've got some things started from seeds, some from last year (here's looking at you, sage), and some I cheated and bought from a choir fundraiser. Now I just have to figure out where to put everybody!



I love flowers in sneaky places.

And this is my pie piece-shaped plot beside the front porch. Hello, baby begonias!



I'm not a huge fan of actual peony flowers, and I didn't plant these, but we inherited them with the house and I won't let Dada get rid of them because my Grammy had peonies when I was a kid and I was always fascinated that I never saw bees in them- only ants. These ones have ants, too, and I haven't looked into why yet. It's fun to wonder!

The deck in its various stages of potting, repotting, I-don't-know-where-to-put-these-yetting and why-aren't-you-growing.



This poor white begonia has been planted three times. A squirrel keeps digging it up, so I'll try a fourth time.

Dada said, "let's go look at seeds" which apparently was Guy for  "let's go fill up every gas can we own, buy a cartful of seedlings, and throw some seeds in said cart for good measure." 
*sigh*



And irises and dandelions. Saved the best for last. Yes, they're flowers. Dada, shush.


 

Psyched out

 Yay! Seedlings from seeds that I planted! Wahoo!


                      Then I pull out the tray a little farther.

                       Great. I’m growing shrooms. *sigh*


Y'all better be fervently hoping that feeding the world does not ever depend on me!


Thursday, May 19, 2022

Quack, quack, waddle, waddle

 Damon had a baseball game scheduled for last night. It had rained off and on all day, and we were told that the Board president would make the call at 3:15. If no game, we had batting practice scheduled for an hour at an indoor facility. The firstborn would need picked up from work after the game. I was fervently hoping for a cancellation.

It was game on.

Of course it was. You knew it would be. 

So I popped a big umbrella into Pepe the Pilot, along with both my raincoat and a hooded wool coat, a camp chair was already in the back, and put on my waterproof pants and rainboots. 

I figured I was all set.

When I got there, I looked at the umbrella and thought, "that thing is huge. I'm going to block a lot of people's line of sight, and if I really need an umbrella that badly, surely they'll call the game for rain." So I left it in the car.

I put on the raincoat, thinking I didn't want to smell like a wet sheep in my wool coat, and that I'd have something warm and dry to put on or over the kid on the way home.

Assuming I'd stay drier in a chair I brought instead of on the wet bleachers, I set up my camp chair and figured if I stayed put, everything under me would stay dry.





You can see the puddle forming on the far side of the yellow curb. The field we were scheduled for had a huge puddle at first base already. The boys were testing the depth of the various ones around the dugout. I thought, "welcome to Mudball 2022."

The men in charge decided to switch fields. The handful of parents there loaded up their umbrellas and various other items and we meandered to the other field, which was positioned at a 90 degree angle to how we had been facing along the third base dugout at the original field. Now the not-quite-rain-but-decidedly-more-than-mist was blowing into the remnants of my eyelashes and face. Thankfully, it was still around 60 degrees and the wind wasn't nearly as bad as it has been other evenings. 

Well, let's just cut to the chase and say that my waterproof clothing... wasn't. Or the rain was steadfast enough to penetrate everything patiently. Incidentally, camp chairs are shaped like bowls and made of a fabric which sucks up and retains water. Guess who felt the equivalent of a kid's plastic IKEA cup of water being dumped into the bottom of my pants when I shifted positions? Yes, that's the face I made, too. 

The boys came out in their last inning with towels crammed under their hats. There had been amazingly few slides. Parents cracked up most of the times the pitcher picked up the ball, shook wet sand off his hands, rubbed the ball on his pants or on his towel or on whatever looked remotely close to dryish, then looked around in dismay for somewhere to stash said towel. You could see him thinking, "I don't want it in my back pocket, but I can't leave it in the soup that is the pitcher's mound..." 


The kids were terrific. I didn't hear a complaint out of them. There were some errors, as happens at this age, and it wasn't a high scoring game, but I think they had a good time anyway.

We made it home, both of us soaked to the skin, and Damon declaring, "I'm wearing three layers and my underwear is still wet!" I hear ya, buddy. My fingers were pruney and I wasn't even doing anything. I've actually stayed drier after being thrown into a swimming pool. 

But, being water resistant, we dried off and warmed up, I collected the firstborn and the baseball player conked out, warm and toasty in his jammies, full of toast. 

I think we will not be waterlogged by the time Friday's game rolls around...

Out with the old

 Liam has had the lunchbox on the left since elementary school. He's finishing up his sophomore year of high school. It's seen better days, to say the least. The firstborn cleaned out the bedroom (Mom, I can hear you rejoicing) and donated two mostly unused lunchboxes (yay, pandemic, no school for forever) to the kitchen island. They're stored in the pantry, but whatever. So the man child ambles along and does a dead stop. "Ooooh. Mine!" Promptly swipes it and begins removing tags. 



Hellooooooo, new lunchbox.

And farewell, good and faithful servant, who was dispatched straightaway to the trash bin outside and collected, fortunately without needing a Hazmat suit.



Yes, that is duct tape. Our children are nothing if not individuals.


Liam just wandered past, yet to start his school day, and exclaimed, "what!? You pitched it already?! I didn't even get to say goodbye. Wah!"

Munching

 This child drives me to distraction. I hear all this crinkling and rustling and chewing, and I’m thinking, “Honey Nut Cheerios don’t sound like that.” I look over and he's in the sunshine, on the exercise ball, devouring a sleeve of Ritz crackers while his bowl of Aldi Froot Loops (chosen by his little brother) sits.


"Liam, what are you doing?!"

The man child rumbles,

"M.u.n.c.h.i.n.g."




Tuesday, May 17, 2022

False alarm

 My clock radio (yes, I’m somewhat old-school) went off this morning at 5:30 and I sat up with a heart full of joy, convinced it was Saturday and that I could turn off the alarm and go back to bed.

Tuesday be like BWHAHAHAHA!

*sigh* A dozen more days of school. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.