This is me in the cab of a semi for the first time in my life. That's Pepe the Pilot getting loaded onto the trailer behind me. Let me tell you a story with a happy but to-be-continued ending:
Earlier this week, I think Tuesday but maybe Monday, who knows, I had an oncology check up appointment. I got an excellent report, blood work looked good, and no serious side effects from the first long term, new-to-me medicine that I started two weeks prior. I also got a prescrpition for the second I'll-probably-be-on-forever medication. So with a song in my heart and love from my medical team, I headed home. Until...
One by one my dashboard starts to light up in my 20 year old Pilot. The check engine light pops on, the exclamation point in the triangle pops on, other letters I don't know the meaning of lit up, as well as my TPMS which is often on and off so unless an actual tire lights up on my little car diagram that one gets ignored, but even more concerningly, my speed begins to decrease even though I'm not doing anything different with my right foot. *Side note: I'll be informed later on that this phenomenon is called, "Safe Mode" though how it is a safe mode when your heart is in your throat and you're praying you won't have to get out and push or something is beyond me. Maybe it's safe in the sense of the car is shutting down instead of blowing up?*
I am on the interstate.
Pepe, you can NOT die on the interstate. No, no, noooooo!
That would be not quite the Sound of Ultimate Suffering, for those of you who have seen "The Princess Bride". For those of you who haven't, what are you waiting for, Christmas!?
Poor Pepe gimps along to the next exit where there is a truck stop and a McDonald's, thankfully, and I'm not stuck on the side of the road in August in my new, cute shoes that I'm still breaking in!
Mind you, I've also only had a protein bar, water, and my morning meds. The plan was to do the appointment and go home to get Dad and then go out to breakfast. I haven't even had Elixir of Magic Beans yet.
First call is to the Elite of Husbands, who, naturally, IS OUT OF TOWN because things only go wrong when he is gone. Not because I expect him to help, just to keep him abreast of the situation and so that he can laugh at me. And then go bang his head against the wall, because.... vehicles. Nobody is going to let me drive alone to these appointments ever again between this and the Ori on the Rocks episode.
Second call is to AAA.
Now, all due respect to the dispatch, he was incredibly kind and respectful and was trying his best. Any comparisons to Flash from "Zootopia" are probably unfair, but as anyone experiencing an adrenaline dump could tell you, please wait to tell me you're sending me new AAA cards AFTER you have sent help for the current situation. I am pretty sure my eyes were getting wider and wider as he tried to find me in the system from what apparently was an outdated membership number and had to hunt and peck in my name and so forth.
Then we had another whole set of adventures as he tried to locate me because the link he sent my cell phone to ping for my location didn't work and he was in the same boat that I'd be in if someone called from somewhere unfamiliar in my state... it was a whole thing. He found me and sent a tow truck and it may have even arrived earlier than he predicted. So now I wait.
McDonald's it is! Except now I've missed the breakfast menu. I'm second in line when the Elite of Husbands calls me back, so I exit the line to update him and then make my way to the counter to order. The kid taking my order is a young cutie. Pretty sure I heard him tell his manager that he was 14. Is that even legal? Who knows. He asked me what I wanted and I told him a frappe and he asked if there was anything else and I said on an exhale, "I don't even know." I ended up with a box of McNuggets because I figured that'd be less mess than a Big Mac if the tow showed up in the middle of my whatever meal this is.
Back outside, devoured my nuggets, got a brain freeze on my first big sip of frappe, and the tow shows up. Hey, new bestie! Yaaaaay for the rescue!
He gets Pepe loaded, we start chatting as we head up to our Honda place that's taken care of us for years, and he unloads Pepe and drops me off. Thank you, Matt!
I head in and the guys at the service desk all chuckle and say, "you got to ride in the truck!" I beamed at them and concurred, "I DID get to ride in the truck- my first time!" So then we go over what all is happening and they promise to squish Pepe in whenever they have time to work on him and they get me a shuttle ride home.
So. He's a 2005. Not getting any younger. Has a lot of rust damage on his back left side so we OFTEN joke about, "hold onto your butt, Pepe" anytime we go over awful potholes, railroad tracks, the high curbs in the town north of us, etc. The tow truck guy thought maybe alternator issue since I had a ton of lights on the dash and my interior lights were dim.
I picked Pepe back up a few days later. I love that my service guy talks to me like I know thing one about cars. Bless his sweet heart. I'm also thankful he types stuff out for me so I can hand it to anyone who actually DOES know things about vehicles and parts and whatnot. They cleaned out a ground throttle body (?) and cleared the code and one of the guys test drove it to the next town and back and nothing lit up on the dash. Not alternator as my battery light was one thing that did NOT light up. *Side note, my kids call those "achievements" like in a video game when you level up*
They said to see how it goes from here, reminded me about the terrible rust damage, and to call them if we need them because they didn't want to sell me a bunch of stuff on a vehicle that is that old. So not Last Rites, but pretty close to a Good Luck and God Bless Until We Meet Again.
Hopefully not next week.
