Rocks defeat cars as well as scissors

 Grab a Christmas cookie and a hot drink. This'll be lengthy. 

See that tiny bruise on my palm? That is because all y'all pray for me, especially during this chemo season. 

That tiny bruise is the only mark I have on me after my adventure to chemo #3 yesterday. Settle in and I'll tell you a tale of a damsel in distress and the heroic knights who stepped in to help her.

Yesterday morning, surprise snow started before bus time. It was pretty and swirly and Thing Three and I enjoyed watching the flakes dance in the headlights of oncoming vehicles on our road as we waited for his bus. We laughed at the swirls of them after the cars passed. 

Apparently it took everyone by surprise as no warnings had been given or salt trucks or plows or anything. Dada went into the office and texted back that the back roads were covered and to be careful if I went down any back roads to chemo.

Aye aye, cap'n.

So I took the interstate, saw at least two vehicles in the median, an ambulance coming on the oncoming side, passed a salt truck, all was well. The exit ramp was ... okay. The main drag was fine albiet still under construction. The only back road I took had another vehicle in front of me and HE managed the turn just fine. 

Ori had other ideas. 

Apparently I complain often about not being able to parallel park, because he took it upon himself to skid straight across the road and park (Thing One said "that's not parking- that's camping") in the landscaping on the opposite side despite the driving expert in my brain hollering, "don't mash the brakes; pump them!" I yelled back, "I AM pumping them and have been!" Then he hollered, "don't yank the wheel; steer into it!" I yelled back, "I'm TRYING!"

Too late. Into the decorative tall grasses and large rocks we went. 

*Insert cloud of piratey talk here. Loud. Repetitive. Think Napoleon at the bowling alley in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" when he gets a gutter ball, only my swearing was not eloquent French but repetitive cursing in my native language. I even threw in one of the words I feel Henry Cavill's Witcher says well, though my favorite is when John Malkovich says it. Moving on.*

It's not in any of the pictures, but believe it or not, these homeowners also have a big pond a little further beyond the rocks I hit. I doubt I'd have ever made it that far, but it's another aspect to be grateful for because being wet and cold would have been ever so much worse.

Bah. Rocks win every time.

I immediately call chemo to tell them I'll be late- alas, I was put on hold so another cloud of piratey talk ensued while I listened with the other ear for the woman to come back on the phone. I told her the basics and that I'd call back when I knew more. 

I called 911, my first ever experience, so there you go, Sharon- I live a sheltered life. The dispatcher informed me someone would be there right away and sure enough, within minutes an extrememly pleasant officer from the Sheriff's office pulls up and gets the ball rolling with the paperwork. Within a few more minutes, a tow truck shows up and another cheerful fellow hops out to take the situation in hand, me apologizing, him tut tutting that it's no problem, that he's seen so much worse.

I had already told the officer that I was headed to chemo and asked him dejectedly if he would be so kind as to take me there. Since I could have walked, though it would have taken awhile, and I think because he was pleased I'd be getting medical attention anyway, he said sure and had me bundle all the things I had to rescue from the car into the back seat of his cruiser.

Y'all, I've also never been in a police car before. He told me I got to sit up front. He EVEN asked if I wanted the lights and siren when we pulled up to chemo. 🙈 When I told some of the nurses that, they were all giggles and said they'd have said yes, but I was worried someone inside would think there was an emergency in an area with medically fragile people and opted a polite no, thank you. 

PLUS, and from a purely selfish and wanting to save any shred of dignity I had left standpoint, THANK GOODNESS we had mostly emptied the car out from our Thanksgiving trip because as it was, I was taking my purse and a backpack to chemo so I could work on Christmas cards and read and stuff, but I also had bags of boxes I was planning to mail. AND a skateboard from the trunk that belongs to the firstborn as well as a speaker and CDs and whatever else I thought shouldn't be sitting around in a towed domain. 

I looked at the officer and said, "do you think I'm the only person to head into chemo with a skateboard?" He chuckled at me. Such a good sport. 

Bye Ori. I'm so sorry. Goodness.

I am SO GLAD that it happened to me and not any of our family's young drivers. I am so thankful that nobody was coming the other way and that I didn't hurt anybody. I'm so glad I was already slowed, knowing it is a rough right turn. I'm glad I was as close as I was to chemo, that the tow truck could pull it out fairly easily. You guys, I KNOW that is all because of your prayers. Thank you. Clearly they are working! The nurses laughed at how good my blood pressure was despite the morning I'd already had. Nurses I've only had once before kept popping in to say, "Val! What in the world!? Are you okay? Oh my goodness!" Definitely the best team. I'm in such good hands. They even asked if I had a ride home- I did, the lovely Zita- and the nurses were hoping to get out of work early to get me home, haha!

My doc laughed and shook her head at me after she hugged me. She looked at all the stuff I'd lugged in and laughed again, calling for a wheelchair not for me but for ease of moving all that stuff to another room for chemo. She said, "in all my years of medicine, I've never had anyone stick googly eyes on their chemo, and I've never seen anyone bring a skateboard in the winter." I asked her how in the world I'm supposed to top it next time I go in. Grinning at me, she informed me all my blood cell numbers are perfect and everything looks great and that I'm tolerating all of this really, really well. 

Some of you are probably wondering if my port worked this time. Yes and no. My nurse, I'll call her J, whom I haven't seen since 6 years ago and was delighted to catch up with, asked how things were going (other than the accident) and I told her last week when I was in that it wouldn't draw blood. She started it, said, "hooray, we got it- oh no" and then we went through the "take a deeeeep, slow breath" and "okay, let's try arms up" and "let's lay you down because it might be positional" and finally, "okay, let me order some cath- [something or other but my brain changed it to cath-pow like Abby's CAFF-POW on NCIS] which eventually worked and they got blood out but the lab came again and my left elbow sacrificed to another jab. The lab lady, different from last week, was also excellent and nailed it first try. Apparently I'm staying well hydrated. 

Chemo went uneventfully, thank goodness, and I got some Christmas cards done and spoke with an insurance gal who was in Arizona, the lucky duck, but was from Missouri so knew about snow and ice and she felt sorry for me and I made her laugh when I told her the story, so all is in the works and I had a day of amazing people all around. 

Thing One said, "hmm, maybe we should have people pray for whatever vehicle you're taking, too. There was a loophole in there somewhere. God was scanning, 'Val, Val, Val, Val, chemo, Val, nope, nothing about the car, we're good!' ... my baby!!!!!" Poor thing. It's the same car the huge oak limb fell on and we'd gotten the entire roof and windshield replaced. Guess it was my turn to take out the bottom. I have no idea how much damage I did to the undercarriage and it's a 2007 so we shall see what insurance says. Man.

So I hope you enjoyed your cookie and hot drink and a story to make you laugh. I'm fine, all is well, 2024 has not been my year but that's okay, nobody was hurt except our poor, faithful Ori who clearly, despite what he thinks, does NOT know how to parallel park any better than I do!

Be safe out there, people. Tis the season for GERMS and scary road situations. And clean out your vehicle. 😉

Seriously, thank you all for the prayers. I know they make a difference. My doc told me she would have understood if I'd cancelled but was thrilled that I came despite everything so we could stay on schedule. The facts that the tiny bruise was the only physical mark on me, that my blood pressure was great, that I didn't cry when the authorities showed up... all of that points to His faithfulness to me because of your interventions. Please don't doubt that prayer works. I'm living, breathing proof!