Tuesday, January 13, 2015

This post is brought to you today by the letters E-l-s-a...

"Winter is coming."

Say all the Starks in George RR Martin's A Game of Thrones series. They can stop saying it. Winter is here once again. We have not had a full school day since before Christmas. December 19, to be precise.

Last week we had 2 hour delays MWF. Tuesday and Thursday brought cancellations. Yesterday school was cancelled again. Today the kids had a 2 hour delay.

We are NEVER going to be able to get up and moving once life thaws out and things are running on time again.

Naturally, this leads me to muse about hibernation and all its wisdom. Who wouldn't want to eat all autumn, stocking up treats and fats so one could sleep through the bitterness of winter? How many of you find it easy to hop out of bed while it's still dark to go shovel your walkways/stairs/driveways while your brain is still in bed, dreaming of warmer memories?

I don't know about you, but I am solar-powered and have an awful time trying to find my motivation, much less use it, when it is dark from 5 PM until 8 AM.

And then there are the germs. How many of you have been sick since November? October? The start of school? Uh huh.

Yet one of the number one goals of the New Year remains to lose weight. How has it not occurred to us YET that our bodies are trying to stay warm to survive? Weight loss programs should start when it warms up. Like in June. If we're lucky.

How is one supposed to go from the candy canes, Christmas cookies, champagne, fruitcakes, Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner, holiday parties, Christmas dinner, and all the leftover snacks to flipping over the calendar (or finding the new one, three weeks into the new year) and magically using willpower? Ridiculous.

How do people stay warm on skim milk/ soy/ no whipped cream drinks?!

There are several comics floating around various walls on Facebook. One has a sad little cartoon person stating, "The air hurts my face. Why do I live where the air hurts my face?"

It's a valid question!

Another has a bird with a decorated Christmas tree, a cheerful snowman, pristine snow, and a happy heart. He's singing "fa la la la la..." and the caption says either December or Christmas, I forget. The frame below it has the same bird looking pretty bedraggled, a half melted snowman, tracks and slush everywhere, lights taken off the tree, and the bird is stuttering, "f f fff fff ff" as the caption reads, "January-Spring. A cold, grey bucket of suck."

Completely appropriate. And completely hilarious to our middle schooler, though we all try to refrain from using that word.

2015 has been rough starting year. Our friend Helen's husband Jack passed away, our car was rear ended and totaled, our mailbox has been demolished by a plow (we think), and a mom from my moms' group has a sister who was in a car accident that left her oldest daughter in the hospital while she herself recovers from knee/leg/arm injuries. Both younger girls were fine. I'm sure you could list several accidents and injuries and even deaths yourselves.

Winter is here, and it is scary and uncooperative.

Can you tell that I'm a hater?

To cope, we're doing what people have done forever. We eat. We're having people over for dinner tomorrow- new work transplants. A family from South America and another coworker. We're trying to practice hospitality in a big way in 2015. Which means I'd better go and clean up so they're not frightened back to South America tomorrow night...

But I'll leave you with this. I saw it in the movie theater and thought it was hilarious. I'm not promoting any weight loss system, I'm just trying to brighten your day. It makes me laugh every single time I see it.

Be human. Stay warm. Do what you gotta do to survive the winter, and give yourself some grace. YOLO.