Sunday, September 08, 2024

Lodging a complaint

 We can't be the only ones with this problem. We have lots of spiders in our home, lurking in bathrooms, hanging out in ceiling corners, weaving webs across the stretch between doorjambs. I'm generally the first one out of bed, so I have the distinct displeasure of breaking web strands in the morning. Lovely. And where is the spider NOW?

Generally I leave them alone. The terms and conditions are that they earn their keep. I don't mind if you want to chill in a corner of the ceiling, but you better be the one to catch the stray mosquito. I know houseflies are fast, but with my fly swatter I am faster, so they get a pass on those. Why do we still have fruit flies even with the apple cider vinegar/dishsoap concoction and resident spiders?

A few mornings ago I saw a baby Guillermo, as house centipedes are known in our house, scurry out from behind our bathroom mirror and wedge himself behind the sponge on the sink. I missed him emerge, but next saw him attempting to run the gauntlet between a bathroom rug and a spider in a web under our floorboard heater. He, sadly, was intercepted. A battle ensued, a spindly bathroom spider tried to join the fray and was rebuffed by the sleek spider, the baby Guillermo ended up curled like a sad comma, and the sleek spider reigned triumphant. 

My complaint is this: why do I have THREE predators in my bathroom who are attempting to off each other when I had to smash FIVE moths in the pantry all by myself with a sixth out of reach on the popcorn ceiling? 

Get outta my bathroom an' get to work or you're all fired!

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