Pre-op rundown

 Sunday night we stayed at some friends' in the city so that we wouldn't have to make the 2 hour drive first thing in the morning for my 9 AM pre-op appointment. Thank you again, you guys, for your hospitality! It is a bright spot in what otherwise feels like a not fun trip. So appreciated!

I got signed in, having done all the questionnaires online ahead of time, and was told, "you'll have your appointment with Katie, then a chest X-ray and some labs." 

Oh hold up, there; nobody had said anything about labs. Maybe I should have assumed there'd be some, but you know what they say about assuming. Plus, last time I was in, I'd asked and they gave me the lab form to give to my oncologist the next time I had them done.

Which was July 29th.

They want within-a-month-of-the-surgery labs. 

Bah.

So anyway, we do the gig with Katie, who is wonderful and answers all my questions, ridiculous or not. I discovered I am NOT, in fact, allowed to have my anxiety medication (that I only GOT for before stressful appointments, gah!)  before the feels-like-an-angry-hornet part of the procedure. Thank you, Mike, for the bite sticks! They are already in my Must Pack stack.

She asked about muscle pain. Um, you mean the constant knot in my right shoulder where all my stress has gone over my entire life? She smiled and asked if it is worse now. Um, yes, haha. I am allowed to take Tylenol, but no Advil or Aleve and so forth for the week before surgery. I guess that is par for the course. Any nurses can set me straight. 

Do I need to buy a front closure sports bra for afterwards, especially as I have no freakin' boobs to put in one? Haha, no, we will send you home wearing one and it needs to stay on for at least 48 hours and then it's up to you to wear it, not wear it, whatever feels best. It's kind of there to protect that dressing and provide some compression. Hooray, crossing that off the walmart list. 

We ask, "do we really need to come back Thursday for the plastics' pre-op? What is he going to do?" She looked things over, shook her head and replied, "I don't even know WHAT he would be doing... I'm already ordering everything you need. I'll call him and see if you can skip that appointment." 

So I head downstairs, still in my stylish light pink open-in-the-front doctors' office gown to get my chest X-ray. The tech tried five times but her machine was giving her grief. She's grumbling as she resets it again and again, "I already recalibrated this thing... what is going ON?" I mused that it was Monday morning, maybe it just didn't feel like working. In exasperation she sent me to the lab while she called her boss to see what to do next, telling me to come back when I'm done with labs.

So, STILL in my height-of-fashion gown, I bebop down the hall to the vampire lair lab and sit down with a chipper tech who said, "you got your chest X-ray done already?"

"Nope, it's not working. I'm supposed to go back. I told her maybe it's because it's Monday."

She sat back in her chair with big eyes and said, "AND we had a fire drill this morning. Now I ask you, who would schedule one of those for first thing on a Monday morning? They KNOW we are so busy. Those alarms! Ugh!"

So we laughed as she tried stabbing me to find a suitable vein, gave up, got a different needle and stuck it after calling it a "bugger" which cracked me up again because that's what my Nana used to call my Thingz. 

I impress Dada who is waiting with my paraphernalia (what a ROTTEN word. Took me 5 tries and I STILL had to look it up) like my clothes, water bottle, purse, sunglasses, paperwork and second booklet on the surgery prep and recovery that the nurse had given me... anyway, he's impressed that I'm walking out of there on my own two feet and in a good mood. He inquired, "She got you on the first stick? Wow!" 

"NOPE!"

"Wowwwwww. Need anything? Need me to steady you?"

After reassuring him I was fine and relaying the intel about the fire drill, we head back to the lab, get the thumbs up from the tech who takes me right back, snaps the X-ray, tells me I can change and go home. 

We drove back and celebrated with steak as I'm supposed to start my higher protein diet (aiming for 90 grams a day, good gravy, there's no way) to increase protein stores that my body will draw from after surgery to heal the wound. Fascinating! 

Yesterday, Katie called me to make sure I'd seen the results of my labs- my blood glucose had been low and she'd told me I needed to eat; I told her what I HAD eaten and she decided it was a glitch and to not worry about it- and to ask if I had any more questions. She let me know I didn't need to go to the plastics' pre-op appointment. Woohoo for an open day not spent in the car! Thank you!

Then the plastics' doc called me, sounded like from his car, to tell me that appointment really had only been for in case I had burning questions that needed answered or if I felt he'd already covered anything. I asked, "it says 'no lotions' in the book- is it because they figure by telling you to use none anywhere it's safer than telling you to avoid the area lest you forget and slather it on anyway?" He said, "I don't know why they say that unless it's in case you'd get a skin reaction from it, but if it's something you're already using every day, just avoid your breast area and upper extremity and it will be fine." Personally, I figure supple, well-moisturized skin would be more cooperative during surgery and heal better than dried out, flaky skin, but I lack a medical degree just as I lack a theological one. So no lotion right side going in. Got it. I thought it was so nice of him to call. He could have just checked in via MyChart...

Thank you to all those who have left notes or texts or calls and so forth to let me know you're following along and to support. You are amazing. I love all of you.

If you need me, I'll be over here munching my almonds, having my call with the OR nurses, rubbing my right shoulder, and avoiding germy people. Wash your hands and have a wonderful hump day!